What was the right answer? Either answer was going to alienate an enormous number of people. I'm reminded of the Monty Python scene: What's your name? What's your favorite color? What's your opinion on the most divisive situation facing America today? Would you prefer to alienate the entire entertainment industry, or the majority of the viewers?

Really, pageant contestants don't ordinarily get ambushed like this. The real question is, what did Perez Hilton have against this girl going in that he put her on the spot like that?

I haven't read the other comments yet. I have a feeling there are going to be as many reactions as there are people. Here's mine.

I'm a Christian, but not a Fundamentalist. I am "Bible Believing" in the sense that I believe Paul when he says that sometimes he wasn't speaking by inspiration but just giving a simple human opinion. I'm an Episcopalian who has been passionately involved with my local church in the past but isn't now because my church has decided they hate gay people and want to split from the main bunch of Episcopalians. I'm married to a man who conveniently believes almost exactly as I do and we have a grown foster daughter who could be called agnostic, if that weren't an overstatement - she's simply not interested in the subject - we always made it plain she was welcome but not required to attend services with us, and she took us up on it twice for the novelty but found it boring.

So, now that you know a little about who I am and where I'm coming from, here are my thoughts: I think you should tell your wife exactly how you feel. I don't think you necessarily need to discuss it with your children. Your beliefs are, in a sense, not their business. Theirs, likewise, are not your business. But to me it's a part of marriage to have someone to talk to freely about important things, and so I think you should tell your wife.

I also think you don't need to be a part of your church any longer. You're there under false pretenses. It's hard on you and not quite honorable. No need to make a huge flaming deal about it, just suddenly become busy on Sundays. Your wife can go without you. This is the state of being in many, many families, and there's no reason it has to be anyone's business.

Those church members who are your friends for reasons other than shared church membership will continue to be your friends. Those who aren't, probably won't. That's sad, but it's a function of ceasing to have things in common. If all your friends were golfers and you suddenly realized you really didn't care for golf but were only pretending to in order to have friends, you would lose some golfing buddies.

It's my deeply held belief that God prefers honest agnosticism to faked belief. An honest agnostic may some day become a true believer; someone pretending to be a Christian never will. The true atheist is at least true; the person pretending to believe is false all through.

(Interestingly, there have been studies which demonstrate that when they are given anonymity to express their doubts, a larger percentage of self-identified evangelicals say they have serious doubts about what they believe in than any other group of people.)

You mentioned that you want to raise your child to be a critical thinker. There are ways of doing short of sitting down and having a dinner table talk about how daddy is an atheist. I only recently - at the age of 40 - learned anything about my own father's beliefs. But I knew at an early age that different people had different beliefs, that my parents would respect my right to believe whatever I wanted to, and that I could raise any question on the subject and be guaranteed an interesting discussion.

He says it doesn't matter. Why not try trusting him? Just a thought. If you can't trust him enough to believe him when he says it doesn't matter, that's a bigger issue than the color of your hair.

I like men with black hair best. But I married a redhead. Geez, I like young Paul Newman too, but I didn't marry him, and somehow I lived and found happiness anyway. Most people manage to find happiness in their relationships despite being married to people and not imagined ideals.

Cognitive therapy yadda yadda. Okay, the therapy might help you overcome your own internal cruel voices. But so might this: Your desire to live a life and be a person isn't the problem here. The lack of childcare is the problem here.

You need to pitch a fit. Start with your husband. He can watch the kids while you go out once in a while. Chances are high he won't care for this and will suddenly figure out that you guys really can afford a babysitter once in a while.

Then write. Open Salon is a nice friendly place to write. People will read you and let you know that you are worthy of being read. Then it's just a matter of sending your stuff to a publisher. It's scary for everyone, even people with perfect lives.

But first, pitch a fit. It goes like this: EVERYONE GET OFF ME! OUT OUT OUT I AM WRITING FOR AN HOUR WITHOUT INTERRUPTION AND THEN I AM GOING AND GETTING MY TOENAILS DONE AND YOU ALL CAN LUMP IT!!!!!

Scream as necessary until you get your point across. The children will not die as a result. No one will die.

Particularly boys. I have a nephew David, son of David, grandson of David.