The problem here is similar to the one alluded to by the parent of the pre-schooler. Boys have fantasy choices. At this point, all the complete costumes directed toward girls above age 8 (or above the size of an 8-year-old) are slutty versions of the costumes that used to exist. I challenge anyone to find an old-fashioned nurse costume, or a blood-and-gore covered one that fits a teenager. Who knows whether this slutty costume is the girl's fantasy or the available slutty version of it.

And by the way, I was 16 during the fall of my senior year without having skipped any grades. It's not too unusual.

In fact, I'm a woman without children. Despite my differences from Trey Ellis, I really enjoyed this piece. It reveals the way that we can all wake up and find our lives not only very different than we expected, but also absurd.

I guess another reason I can feel that pain is that I've been in the Brig with the 20-somethings. At that time, it had just moved from dive to destination and the "kids" next to me were imitating the "wazzup" frogs from that commercial. That's no place to meet someone to love.

You know exactly what dissatisfies you about your current living situation. More importantly, you know some things that would improve how you feel during your daily life. If I were you, I work toward a more palatable living situation as long as your wife can be happy too.

The danger of trying to live with such a situation is that you will adjust to it. You will no longer try to do the things that were once convenient to enjoy. You may lose the qualities you like about yourself, feel bitter and perhaps eventually forget what you wanted to change in the first place.

Some people are cut out for a focus on their own homes, gardening, driving everywhere, etc. Some people live for the museum's late nights and the local,non-diner restaurant that serves until 4:00 am, just in case. If you're the latter, don't try to turn yourself into the former just because it seems like the sensible thing to do.

Give this some time. Although I never would have expected this at that age, I've undone or regretted everything I put into motion when I was 24. I changed, eventually becoming more self- accepting in some arenas and realizing as CT said, that dissatisfaction is a habit.

You may find that in four years or so, you don't even feel like the same person you are now. This surgery is something you will have to manage for years to come. Try to be sure it's the right decision.

You express a lot of anger at your husband's family members for using your pool and perhaps for not perceiving your discomfort. But your husband told them they should use the pool. Why would they think he meant something other than what he said? Maybe they are insensitive and clueless; but they're following directions. Get him to handle it and stop stewing.

Are you really bisexual? In my limited experience, a lot of people in committed heterosexual relationships who come out as bisexual are actually homosexual and having a hard time admitting it. If that is the case with you, it might be best to figure out how to continue being father and letting your wife find someone who might be a husband to her if she wants to go down that road again.

If you're actually bisexual, why do you believe you can't be bisexual and in a committed monogamous relationship? A lot of people manage without feeling deprived. Their restrictions are the same as those of anyone who still feels attractions for people other than the spouse. I don't know where you got your stats on marriage failure. But I doubt that they're accurate for marriages in which one or both partners is truly bisexual.

. . . but not only because you have to stop this affair. Get away because when your friend finds out, the last thing she'll need to do is look at you, run into you, etc. I agree with the letter writer who said that people who never fall into ill-advised relationships are often more lucky than wise. But this thing with your best friend's man is heavy duty betrayal. Not only will she be upset; but people who find out will look at you as though you're not to be trusted. Folks you thought of as casual acquaintances will stop leaving change on the table when you're nearby. The best they'll be able to muster is pity. Do you want that? Get away now. Spare everyone within your circle from having to deal with the fallout.

This whole friendship sounds quite intense, more like a romance or an adolescent friendship. I say this because in romances, people stick together past incompatibility because they don't know what else will come along or because they see the time involved as an investment that will have been wasted if the relationship ends. Adolescents are hormonally off and don't have enough experience to know better.

If that's not good enough, look at what you say at the beginning of your letter about her going through a hard time. While it makes sense that you want to help a friend, it does not make sense to choose friends only because you want to help them.

If you don't drop her, at least take a break. Figure out what your investment in this friendship is and how to manage your expectations. You can't change her.

What person in his or her right mind would ever disparage pie? I've known a few people, deprived of pie during their formative years, who did not fully appreciate pie or who misunderstood its allure. But even they could not look down upon pie.

I think the writer was spending time with some truly disturbed folks and should be more careful about the company he keeps.