I understand that the terrain gets rocky as a mother with three children. Even as a single woman, I would never dispute the reality that kids get difficult and overwhelming. But get a grip, woman! These are your CHILDREN, effectively your subordinates - regain control! Sitting out in the front yard sulking in a tent is only setting a horrible example for the kids in the house, which is, when the going gets rough, sit this one out.

Right on the mark there! Savant didn't even bother to address the question, treating it as if it were asking "how do I treat everyone I would otherwise ignore?" Wow. And I loved your break-apart of it. Bravo.

In relationships, most of us have to learn the "art of compromise." For instance, Robert is great but he is emotionally closed. In a normal relationship, Robert and Torn would either work together on that aspect, or decide that it isn't something they can overcome and break off the arrangement. Similarly, if Joe and Torn were in a normal relationship, Torn would most likely work on encouraging Joe's more social side. If she couldn't deal with his seeming tendency to put her at the center of his universe, then she would declare the relationship null and void.

The main problem is here is that because she has an alternate, Torn has no obligation to actually dedicate herself and her energy in order to work on the aspects of her relationship with either man that may cause her strife, i.e., she has no ability to hone her skills of "compromise" when it comes to love. In making a relationship work, this skill is imperative - probably one of the most important out there to develop. Learning to understand another person and accept him/her as they are and how it relates to your personal values cannot be downplayed in matters of the heart.

By advising Torn that she doesn't have to choose allows her, with admittedly limited experience in the dating realm, to continue surface relationships with both men. She is countering what she doesn't like in one man by supplementing another man's personality traits to satisfy her, thus allowing her to skirt the problem of working through an issue that might be serious to them as a couple and to him as a potential long-term partner. Dating is all about learning what you like, what you don't like, and how you can effectively deal with both. By not choosing, and being advised not to choose, Torn is effectively denying herself of the opportunity to grow and develop as a potential significant other. And I think that is the most harmful reality out of this entire matter.

Oh, come OFF of it already!

As one commenter clearly noted before, Paris Hilton is all over the media - attaching herself to America's former darling-cum-flasher at one of her admittedly weakest moments, forcing herself on unwitting television viewers via commercials, and even finding a way to wrack up endorsements in print. And now, on a quite reputable website, Salon.com. As the previous commenter noted, yet again, if you feed it, it will continue to return, as long as you've got the grub for it to dine on.

Yes, Paris Hilton is disgusting. Maybe even calculated in her demonry. But it didn't begin with Britney Spears, because if Britney is capable of birthing and raising two children, you can't blame her demise on Hilton. Some (myself) would argue that Britney is of the same camp as Hilton - talentless, an attention whore, and banking on America's inability to discern between quality and quantity. So don't go blaming Hilton for what Spears did to herself by marrying a sleaze like Federline and having two children within a year of each other. And if the Simple Life is one of the most watched reality television shows, you also can't blame Hilton for capitalizing on everyone else's blind stupidity and desire to roast their brain cells on the resulting wavelength. Um, if it's selling, if it's "working," who wouldn't do the same thing? The problem is, it IS doing just that - and suckers are eating it up like a freebie night at Spago's.

No, we cannot blame Hilton for this. Instead, it began and continues with people just like you, Rebecca - the journalists, the photographers, the social commentators. Indeed, in the end, the only person you can blame is yourself - for allowing this sort of glamourized idiocy to continue. In writing this article, you can take a little bit of the blame for perpetuating her for now. Because without hands to feed her, she will have nothing to eat. In berating her and giving her attention on such a generally intelligent website, you are giving her just what she wants - validation.

Way to go.