(warning; this post will be unbearable even for those who are only mildly annoyed at my tendency to get fuzzy about the underlying structure of our Powerful Correctness; I would only read this if you currently need to appear to be reading something on the computer, or if you are studying the psychopathology of political discourse)

This comment section is our little collective projection hut, where we all go to in order to work out our issues within the code of political speak.

I'm not saying these issues don't really matter. I'm not saying that this so-called "choice" between Obama and Clinton doesn't matter. I'm just saying that it will never be indepdent of our deepest and darkest blind spots. Our love for a politician will always be shaped, implicitly, by what we simply can't see. And our major frustrations will always be a product (to some extent) of our projections as well.

We are like scared children (or angry adolescents) using this primary as Bad-Mommy! We use Joan as bad-mommy and she uses Barack and the media as her bad-mommy. We are all kind of right. I'm just noticing how we always get to be the victim. I make myself the victim of Joan's relentless fixation on how unfair Hillary is being treated only because she is a woman.

Even as I type this I know how ridiculous my point must seem. And I really do get why some people kind of have to hate reading me posts when I get like this. And they call me idiot. I almost respond to them, making myself the righteous victim again.

The polarization that is happening in the party, nation, world (in our families, work places and towns) is right here in this comment section. We come here to learn? kind of? To hang out, sure. We come ready to "know" we are right about something and to ensure that we have the "idiots" pinned down and in target.

And I have no hope. But I'm happy. I have no hope because I see that no matter how correct Joan is that sexism is playing a role in why Hillary is not liked, she can't comment on how rediculous she is being. She can't see that a giant proportion of her "dissapointment" and "anger" is self generated and utterly useless, that he "anger" is no different than the anger anybody else feels when they pin down the enemy and feel like the attacks will never end. And people on this list give me no hope when they also demonstrate the inability to lose-face and giggle at their ignorance and righteousness. Same with myself. I think these very ideas right now are precious and I hope that others could find something of value in them....But I am willing to lose face, OBVIOUSLY. I'm not that dumb. I see how this can be read and I see how sappy, navel gazing and passive-aggressive this fuzzy and unclear post is. I get why somebody would feel the need to set me straight.

But as long as I keep coming back into this comment section, I might as well practice losing-face every now and then. Hey, that might be the ONE great thing about our anonymity on the internet. We can finally practice revealing how stupid we really are in a safe way. We can say strongly what we “know” to be true (Hillary is getting BASHED mainly because she is a woman) and then we can admit how dumb we are (the reaction to Hillary is more complicated than I want it to be)…

But I'm hopeful because some people here do reveal their weaknesses and the consciousness of their ignorance. I have no problem with anybody who needs to vote for McCain and I yet am passionately for Obama (the moment the McCain voter refuses to lose face it’s another story). Is that because I'm so great? What do you think? Of course not. It has more to do with how dumb I am. And we all know it. But my theory is that IF IF IF our country is going to avoid the massive types of calamities are coming, it will only because more and more people get dumb. More and more people need to fall in love with sexists and still passionately work for positive changes. Otherwise, ...geeez...Feel into Joan's disappointment and hopelessness ( I know she still feel great hope, but she finds most of it in her willingness to fight and get "back in the ring") feel into mine..

Hmmmm....what do I expect? Do I want Joan to be cheery about Obama? I guess in some ways. But it is more attached to my fantasy that this primary could reveal an alternative (and utterly NEW) approach to politics, in which we do half the pointless projecting and twice the safe loss of face. Look at the structure of the economy and what will likely take place within 15 to 30 years regardless of the Obama's and Clinton's and McCains...They didn't cause it at all. can tinker with hope and policy changes. But look at what is about to happen: snap. Who's fault? Not Regan, not Carter, not the cold war, not manifest destinty. mine. Because I still refuse to accept the simple notion that i'm dumb. I'm toying with it. I think those zen dudes had it right. stop thinking. take care of each other; even the sexists.

God; if overnight all democrats got really comfortable with losing face to republicans, I bet it would take less than two weeks for all republicans to admit they are equally dumb. Then we could actually get somewhere. Until then, we shall fight and be right and strong!!!!!!