I, too, noticed the assertion that Ms Doe tested as pregnant on the day after the insemination, which would signal that Mr Hayes sperm was not a factor.

Mr Hayes sounds like he is rather emotionally immature. He seems to be desparately looking for someone to blame for his emotional pain, and while this is, perhaps, understandable, it is not in the best interests of the newborn child, or, ultimately, of Mr Hayes and Ms Swift.

If Roe and Doe want to have their child tested to determine paternity, fine. But if they don't, their privacy and that of the baby, are way more important than the error that Hayes believes has caused his pain. I think the clinic should be found liable for monetary damages to all concerned, and that Hayes should seek counseling to alleviate his "suffering" which is ego-driven and has more to do with his "history" than what happened at that clinic.

I agree with those who think the "boyfriend" has basically destroyed the relationship, by projecting his own fears and shortcomings onto the letter writer.

It's certainly admirable that she wants to try everything she can to save the relationship, but it sounds like she's already done everything she can. She should grieve the loss, but ultimately it's good that she learned about his "true colors" before a marriage and children. I also agree with the writer who suggested that our BF probably has other "issues" that would eventually surface. Send him packing, girlfriend, and hold your head high. You did nothing wrong.

In 2004 within a few months my mother died, I lost my job of 14 years, and my marriage dissolved. I went into deep grief and depression for about 2 years before I was able to find some resources that gave me tools to use for my healing and recovery. It doesn't have to take that long; that's just my "story". Here are 2 excellent resources that anyone can use to help stop "the noise" of negative emotions and feelings: (1)"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz is a small book with a big impact, at least for me. (2) www.thework.com is Byron Katie's website, and her most recent book is "A Thousand Names For Joy" ...Both these authors/teachers use powerful, but easily understood, techniques that demonstrate how we can all re-train our minds to enable us to let go of negative thoughts and emotions, replacing them with "the truth" and living joyously in the present moment.

Since discovering and using their information, I am happy to report that my life is now working beautifully, and I've regained control of my thoughts and feelings.

Thank you, Mr Keillor, for expressing so very well, some of the doubts and questions that many, if not all, of us share at times like this.