"enrolled" (to use an obsolete ancient EST term) into male-male sexual contact if the other guy talked pretty to them, stroked their ego and went slow ... the percentage might be much higher ... and I' talking about NON-stranger sex ...

I suspect the opportunity to get a blow job or hand job free or cheap from some stranger in a bathroom has its appeal even to otherwise straight men ...

I don't think "availing" oneself of these "services" makes someone "gay" or necessarily reflects "orientation" ...

vilify me if you will ... I've found that many men, as Lenny Bruce used to say, irrc, will f*ck dirt ... y'know if they think it finds them attractive ... in a saucy way ...

because "gays" as likely child molesters and pedophiles (a fallacy) is cornerstone of what's wrong with homosexuality ...

"gays" also are (as legend would have it) security risks (due to vulnerability to "blackmail") and emotionally unstable and given to flamboyant drama-queen outbursts that are sometime "dangerous" (as in violent) ....

this entire frigging incident is being used to show JUST.HOW.AWFUL.THOSE.PEOPLE.ARE. and to scare the bejeezus out of any young republican males who might be wondering ....

just dreadful. I say "back away from the dead horse, please".

the defendents ... in my very white community ... were always "of color" and had been pulled over "randomly" for busted tail light or "resisting arrest" ... there's a lot of poor white folk in my tiny county ... but after 3 out of 3 cases ... stomach churning.

Boys are informed of the boogieman of homosexuality in so many ways, starting so young ... that even normal curiousity is suppressed.

I recall a few gay men friends of the family when I was a fairly small child ... didn't they want to have kids? it was a mystery to me and my friends how anyone could not-want-to-have-kids...

For generations being gay meant not having kids, not having the house with the white picket fence ... it was sorta like being one of those other unwanted minoritys, but worse. Jews and "ethnic types" had their place as "token" ... and for quite a while there were token out homosexuals in many places ... but, like the others, no one REALLY wanted to get too close.

I think these men really fear -- and likely correctly -- that the house of cards would collapse ...

As long as the GOP is still trying to sell "morning in america" houses with a caucasian mom and dad, 2 kids and the white picket fence, gays have no place. Minorities are still relegated to "look how tolerant I am" token status.

Much like the transgressions of TeamBush, most of America doesn't want to know ... and resents like hell having "other people's problems" (you know, "character issues" like poverty) shoved in their face. Genuinely good Christians, they believe, are immune from such things.

but things like "earmarks" and clauses slipped into bills in congress ... shady lucrative business deals and out-there wheelers and dealers like Abramoff ...

it's as if, having arrived, they are giddy with entitlement ... when they're not whining about how unfair everything is ... like spoiled children.

it's rather like Leona Helmsley, "only little people pay taxes" ...

Boys will be boys, until their actions might cost me something ... then all bets are off.

This hipocracy is not confined to sexual matters ...

I've never been a gossip and generally dispise the practice as both unfair and mean spirited -- the subject of gossip rarely if ever has ANY effective way to respond and gossip, by its nature, is about 99% negative -- it's right up there with rumor and innuendo.

Gossip rarely, if ever, improves one's opinion of anyone else ... and can taint an otherwise neutral professional relationship.

I recall being told, out of the blue, that an associate beat his wife. (I was told by his partner and did not doubt the information) It was definitely something I did not need to know. I never repeated the information, however, I did spend a quite LOT of time trying to figure out what "to do" and how to feel about that information. Eventually, I just decided it was -- in fact -- none of my business and just felt sad as it suggested that this brilliant man was even more frustrated and ill-tempered than was obvious to everyone who knew him and that his home and marriage was neither exempt from his explosive temper nor a refuge from his frustrations. It took about a month before I could look him in the eye without a lurching feeling.

In business, it's a serious liability. Confidentiality is often highly valued as a personal trait and may be required professionally. It may not be a "firing" offense where you work, but it certainly suggests a time-wasting, high-school, water-cooler/lunch break mentality. Too bad we don't know the author's age. If she's 30 or over and still kibbitzing endlessly, she's in trouble, imho.

Also, one does not NEED to talk ALL.THE.TIME to be social or popular. There are always CURRENT EVENTS, and MOVIES and even the latest issue of PEOPLE magazine to chatter about endlessly. There's TELEVISION and WEATHER and TRAFFIC ... there are holidays and relatives ... and Dear Abby ...

Chattering endessly -- whether about "the lives of others" or something else -- may just be a bad habit but I've found it's often a defense mechanism to avoid talking about oneself and the pathetic state of one's own finances, lovelife, ambitions.

I think the author should consider finding BETTER FRIENDS for herself as part of her own development, social and otherwise, y'know people who actually DO things and THINK things... She might actually start DOING THINGS and thinking things her ownself ... at which point she may find the doings of others strangely IRRELEVANT to her own life. In some circles, it's call "getting a life."