Letters to the Editor
susan sunflower
Published Letters: 1351 Editor's Choice: 29
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Dear LW: I believe your intentions were "good," that you -- older, wiser, etc. -- had concern for this young woman's career and well-being ...
[Read the article: Her sexy T-shirt says "Kitty Not Happy" -- is that OK at work?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think these letters show what a "no good deed goes unpunished" mine field this is.
I've worked in health care my whole life -- where "patient first", leave your personal problems at home is the rule (or was).
I agree with your concern, particularly from your "lofty" position ... this young woman may well compromise her "reputation" -- specifically, the opinion of her "professionalism" and her "judgement" and her "maturity" ... not to mention, her eyes-on-the-prize "commitment" ...
I've been really shocked by the tone of many of these letter and the assumptions "extrapolated" from your letter ...
If this young women is someone you seriously care about, back-channel it. It took several months, but a personal call from me, eventually got a substance-abusing physician on "vacation" and probably saved his career. This young woman may genuinely need counseling ... many career focused people have underdeveloped support networks and -- short of inherently too personal intervention -- professional help IS the alternative. Hopefully her supervisor will find the courage and compassion to suggest that opening her personal life to the scrutiny of the workplace is not appropriate and potentially self-destructive. That's why they (management) make the big bucks.
Yes, there are shorter term and starter "jobs" and workplaces and "industries" where sharing your personal life, etc. is not likely to follow you ... but I would countn't on it .. and in I suspect that the scrutiny (and rumor mill) regarding a women's behavior continues to be intense and unequal (those hormones, those "value").
If you are high up enough, familiarize yourself with the company's benefits and EAP ... the stigma (and fear of exposure) surrounding seeking "help" needs work and is sufficient to scare many away from help.
You've tried. That's all you can do. Probably better let it be ...
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There are MANY issues involved here and simply walking away may not solve your problem...
[Read the article: I know my co-worker's evil secrets -- because I was his therapist!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]First, I doubt that even voluntary amnesia and duct tape over appropriate orifices would make sharing an office and/or working closely together tolerable ... denial is a wonderful thing, but the sort of "reservations" you hold wrt this person make me think that silence = complicity.
As usual the info in the letter is inadequate ... if you are licensed by the state, if you are working as an employee (rather than a volunteer or independent contractor), if you are working in a mental health/substance abuse facility, and the conditions of whatever malpractice insurance you practice under and who pays for it, may represent genuine LEGAL OBLIGATIONS -- not to mention the various mandatory reporting laws -- laws as opposed to codes of conduct.
Then there are your professional obligations and case law ... particularly with regard to changes resulting from the various law suits against the archdiocese for a variety of administrative sins including failure to act responsibily and noncooperation etc.
You need to talk to your professional association and your therapist ... Personally, I don't see how or why you would consider remaining employed/associated with a facility soon to be professionally associated with this toxic individual.
While it is possible he's "changed," more likely he has just relocated and background checks were either vague, self-protective, inadequate or simply not performed. What sort of background/reference check did they do on you? [Hint: Falsifying information used to gain employment can be grounds for dismissal. Information of past misconduct from a third party (not under confidentiality bans) to your employer might avert a debacle.]
There are many parties at risk here ... not just you, him and the "patients" ... aiding and abetting and turning a blind eye can be "fine lines" to avoid crossing.
You may want to take some "personal" time while you sort this out and decide what to do. But you need to DO something immediately ...
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I missed the part where LW mentioned consulting his/her therapist, lawyer, professional organization ethics hotline ...
[Read the article: I know my co-worker's evil secrets -- because I was his therapist!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It is certainly my impression that in many of these matters, if you asked 5 professional peers you'd get at least 3 opinions ... and that would be AFTER various nuances, chronologies, and other specificities were exhausted.
There have been too many lawsuits, some successful, some not. I'd get a second opinion that encompassed of your professional ethical/legal obligations (your personal ethos being just that).
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here's a question for LW: If your boss knew you withheld this information, would you be fired?
[Read the article: I know my co-worker's evil secrets -- because I was his therapist!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You should also consider whether or not your client pool is legally considered "at risk" ...
If your prior client (this bad guy) had mentioned pedophilic fantesy, desire, behavior and you ran into him 5 years later, his having obtained a degree in early childhood education, and were assigned to work with him on a child-related project, would you similarly honor his "privacy"?
Hell, does the law recognize your claim to professional confidentiality? This isn't something you can just declare ... and then expect to be held immune from legal consequences when there's a lawsuit later ...
I suspect there have been unsuccessful lawsuits against lay counselors and AA/NA etc. due to unethical/exploitive behavior ... and I suspect these failed based on the freedom to make mistakes accorded adult citizens.
Personally, I think this letter is bullshit and the Cary really needs to bitch-slap his headline editor/writer ... figuratively ...
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on the bright side, if this involves two lay drug counselors (for example) there should be plenty of precendent and opinion available ...
[Read the article: I know my co-worker's evil secrets -- because I was his therapist!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]since patients becoming therapists is commonplace ...
I just wanted to say that I am not advocating breaking confidentiality beyond expressing serious reservations about this individual ...
if there is a third-party (a former employer, an acquaintance?) who is aware of bad acts (not knowledge obtained under patient/client or lawyer/client etc) who might be appalled to find out that John Doe was working in this capacity ... a third-party solution is a possibility ...
My main concern is that I believe the interpretation of confidentiality has been eroded -- between the war on terror and our national obsession with child porn/child victimization etc. In addition, the liability of employers for the bad acts of their employees and the expectation of "should have known" has evolved. Like a pendulum, these things swing back and forth ... but I think that for LW to assume that "patient confidentiality" is a secure cloak and his silence will protect him is naive.