I'm gonna say it once, and not again:

I am so damned glad my parents kicked off so early in life that I don't have to take care of them and listen to their whining about their benefits.

Sure, I'm an orphan-but it beats doing the parent babysitting and care-taking. Not to mention going into a nervous breakdown and personal financial insolvency while they're still alive and whining to death.

My sympathy to those who are still at that life stage. May you survive to have an old age.

Beth4664's post hit the problem and the outcome on the head:

LW, you're being subtly (or not so subtly) replaced with a guy. He looks innocent, acts it, but he is going to be in your job before 6 more months.

Get your resume ready, and printed. Start networking and looking for another job NOW. The one you have right now will not be yours very much longer.

Call it sexism, ageism or anything you want-including "cockblocking". All the same. You're a female and you're not good enough.

I can see the handwriting on the wall from here. Get out with good references and a list of people to see about another job.

It's obvious where this one is headed. Cary's response is not good enough for a corporate shark tank. You're going to get eaten alive if you don't protect yourself.

No.

But can you justify remaining in a job just for the title and the perks even when you know it's killing people?

"I was just following orders."

Great excuse for any crime. Fits any war.

What really pisses me off is that Robert McNamara had the option of resigning if he really "agonized" over the war. Many military officers did just that in protest over that misbegotten, evil war. He did not.

He continued to serve in his post, long after it became clear to others charged with propagating the war that it was a crime to do so and morally repugnant.

In an past interview with Robert McNeil (shown last night on the NewsHour), he stated that if he had quit, he would be blamed for the war; if he had stayed, he would be blamed for the war.

He stated that he would always be known as the Secretary of Defense responsible for the war, no matter what he did. So he stayed anyway, despite all his "internal doubts".

I guess he liked the title "Secretary of Defense" better than his moral convictions, if he had any.

The fact of the matter remains that he continued to do his job long after the futility of the war became evident. All his hand-wringing afterwards was a sham meant to appease those still angry at him for his role. It did not work then and it does not work with this article.

He's still guilty.

Your wife says, "No, I don't want you back."

Whatever will you do?

Perhaps in the time she's had to think about this, she's decided that you're just not worth any more trouble.

You'd be surprised how many men get blindsided by wives who're tired of their games.

It's not all about you, after all. She was the other half of your marriage, and probably feels the same damn way. You think you provide something of value. I think she's found out otherwise.

Don't be shocked if this happens.

"But I have lost everything and can't help wondering if things would have been different if he had helped out. We'll have to leave our house in a few months, so it seems like the perfect time to leave him. There's nothing left to split and we could go our separate ways, yet I feel like a terrible, disloyal person running out on my family when times are tough. I'm so confused."

Disloyal to whom? To him? What has he done to earn any loyalty? He's not worked for years, has sponged off you (yes, sponged) for all those years, you let him and now you feel guilty at letting him dictate what you should do now that you've lost everything?

He's not going to change. He's along for the ride. Take your child and see if you can move in with your family. Do not allow him to follow, because to be honest, if he were to be told he had to survive on his own, he would.

If you allow him to stay with you, and he doesn't do anything to change or even consider getting a job, he's a lost cause. He's just waiting for the perfect moment to be discovered. That moment will never come.

Think and act for yourself and your child. He's just extra baggage.

You sound angry about the situation he's helped put you in-and you should be. Angry enough to stop it and tell him to hitch a ride on another star. You're done.