Why do people have to make these issues into a zero-sum game, where one person has to "concede" or "give in" and the other is the "winner"?

Your neighbor is petty enough that his parking space clearly means something to him. Unless you are equally petty, why follow his lead by assigning meaning to this issue and getting into a pissing contest with him over who is right and who is wrong?

The way for you to be "right" is not to try and dictate the parking rules, it's to be sensitive to his weird little nitpick, ask him where his parking space is, and not park there.

That way, the issue will be solved and both of you can relax. He might turn out to be a perfectly nice neighbor once you've accomodated his little quirk, and maybe he'll be willing to accomodate some of your quirks in the future!

I'm mid-20s, used to working hard and being high-achieving. Now I'm sitting here trying to get done with my thesis and hitting the fucking wall even though I love my chosen field and my thesis topic.

Yeah, I don't know what to do either. Thought I'd finally figured out how to slow down and enjoy life, and ended up colliding head-on with the first depressive episode of my life.

I just keep trying to imagine myself looking back on this time and laughing one day. Don't know how to get there yet, but I just keep that image in my head, and try to get through enough days to make it come true.

Good luck to you.

The emails really are the WORST, especially when they're sent out as an impersonal mass mailing. My grandpa does this all the time. I used to take them as an opportunity to engage with him, since I've lived overseas for years and barely get to see him or talk to him... but no matter what attempts at commiseration or gallows humor or personal inquiry I tried, he would just respond with more political invective.

The last straw was when I checked my email to see three different FWD:FWD:FWD:Obama ruining America type emails from him, and one from my parents informing me that my grandma, his darling wife, was in the hospital.

How in the world do you respond to somebody actively using your inbox as an impersonal repository for their reprehensible political views, and refusing to even engage with you as a caring family member?!

I definitely live by the principle that most people hurt each other through incompetence, not malice, but that incident has been a bitter pill to swallow.

Grandpa's emails get sent straight into my spam folder these days.

Seriously - add up all that transcontinental travel, subtract that from your current salary, and you might find living in the same city with him and taking a job that doesn't pay quite as well would be much more cost-effective.

So if you really, really want him, just shack up with him.

an Obama appointment I can get behind 100%!!

Go get 'em Ms. Johnsen!

Sympathizing with the child is a great idea and when I imagine myself in the mom's position, it sounds like something that would get me to pay attention.

Hey LW,

stop sleeping with men you don't like. It's pretty clear from your letter that you can't even justify this fuck to yourself.

Hey LW's brother,

get the hell over it.

Both the LW and her neighbor are acting immature, elevating this small dispute to a matter of principle. What a perfect example of two neighbors who have chosen to share a building with other human beings, but are incapable of treating their neighbors like human beings.

Move into an apartment building? You've signed a contract to find a way to share your front door like grownups. LW might feel like she should have more privilege because she's been there longer, but she needs to realize that each new neighbor can mean a new negotiation and a new method of sharing her front door.

Go talk to the old lady and work something out, or buy a house in the suburbs. That's what you agreed to when you signed a lease in a building where other stubborn, complicated, prejudiced human beings also live.

... I have a boyfriend in this town again, but I told my friends that if I ever claim to only be there for his sake, they should slap me in the face and remind me of who I really am.

It's fine to be attached, but becoming so dependant will make you into a parasite. You will suck the life out of any relationship that way.

Like you, I live overseas. Unlike you, I originally came for love.

I learned the hard way that love does not necessarily last, even if you are willing to leave your own country in order to have it.

Here's the other thing I learned though: it's not only possible, but an absolute joy to create a life FOR YOURSELF in another country!

You mentioned your job, and you mentioned that it sucks, but I didn't hear anything about your friends, or your favorite pub, or the music you play, or your jogging route.

Is it your city already, and sharing it with him would just be a shot of Irish whiskey in your yummy life?

Then stay, work with him, but don't let go of other friends. Remember this is your life in your Dublin.

Or are you a guest in his city, staying there at his beck and call, only because of him? Is he the only thing you enjoy about your city? Your amazing, foreign city? Is he the only part of living in Dublin that is a wonderful adventure for you?

Then get the hell out. Listen, if you can't build up a real, fun, fascinating life for yourself where you are, then leave. A man is not enough of a reason to stick around in any town.