(Sorry, but I refuse to address your username as written because that would be forcing me to write a sentiment with which I do not agree. Thank you for otherwise sticking to the topic.)

You seem much concerned with the matter of prostitution. You mention in one of your replies that Jim may have honestly thought the LW loved him and that, if she did not, she was not being honest with him and therefore was exchanging Sex for Money. Hence, prostitution. I disagree. Here is why:

1. Love means different things to different people. There is no such thing as one absolute, unchangeable, poetic love. (Shakespeare's "ever fixed point" notwithstanding.) Love is as varied as people are varied. Perhaps what is important in relationships is that people actually define their terms, but they do not. Why? Because they don't want to ruin the romance of it all, because they want to get laid, or because they think that their idea of love might not match the other person's. There have been books written about the varieties and classifications of love. For some, love means spouse, home, and family. For others, love means a great night in the sack.

2. The LW mentions her looks because she fears losing them. The better looking she is, probably the greater her fears. She is speaking a sort of code that every woman here automatically understands but that most men do not. The tyranny of appearance has never impacted men the way it impacts women. Men are visual creatures. One person (I forget who) said that men are seduced through their eyes and women through their ears. Women are pretty smart about looks. There is not a one of us who does not appreciate the advantage of having personal beauty or who does not feel stung by not having it or who does not regret it when it goes. I sense that you resent the LW for using her looks. However, if she is pretty, how can she not use her looks? Join a nunnery? Get an ugly-surgery? Wear a berka?

3. Prostitution: If you want to define every relationship in which a man makes more money than a woman as the woman being in prostitution, then what is your solution? At college graduation, when men and women in the same field seek jobs, the women are offered 80% of what men are offered. As men and women age, this wage gap actually widens, so that women make significantly less money than men. This reality means that in most relationships men make more money. Does this mean that you see the women in these relationships as prostitutes? Please, when you answer, keep in mind that I am not distinguishing marriages from live-in relationships. Does this mean that a married woman whose husband makes more than she does is a prostitute? Does/did your father make more money than your mother?

4. If we wish so make money the basis of relationships, who is more corrupted, men or women? If a man is with a woman who makes more money than he does, does he become a prostitute? Does/did your mother make more money than your father?

Are we all -- men and women -- whores?

I would argue that we all understand the lure of money even more than we do the lure of beauty. Beauty is nice but it doesn't fill the belly. I would argue that we are no more capable of ignoring the financial situation of a potential mate than we are capable of sprouting wings and circling the sun. Men also take into account the earning power of the women with whom they seek alliances. I don't see a lot of guys yearning to be married to women who will stay at home, keep house, and churn out babies and never work. What would they call such women? Prostitutes? At any time in your parents' relationship, did your mother stay home with you?

Some men seem incredibly angry at women lately. I wonder if they are not angry that, despite the wage gap, women are making more choices, getting more education, and ending more relationships of their own accord? If these men want to stay angry about this, they may certainly do so. I also would suggest that they should grow wings and circle the sun, because these changes will not be rolled back, anymore than women will give up birth control and consent to be barefoot and pregnant at the whim of men.

Long story short. LW wants to leave a guy who did her a few favors. Some people think she appears ungrateful. LW writes in to clarify her position. Some people get their undergarments in a twist. Some people decide she must have Borderline Personality Disorder. Some guys think she's a whore. Then the usual trolls come in.

Initially Cary gave her good advice to just leave him. However, Cary is only human and apparently a bit tired at the end of the week and some (possibly tired) people thought he really meant it when he said he was hurt that she came to him as a last resort. So Cary came in and clarified that he did not mean that to be taken seriously.

I hope I have summed up without pissing people off, but I gotta confess, I too joined the contest. Conflict must be too irresistable to resist.

Hi Cary,

If you suddenly uptick their consumption of protein they get gas, but it makes their coats all bright and shiny. The gas will diminish even with the additional protein in a week or so.

Peardy,

Thanks for the compliment.

S.H.A.M. Scam Sam,

You are still off topic and I will not scald my new keyboard replying to your rant -- even if Pluto is retrograde!

Edziu's muse, did I ever tell you about the time I actually telephoned Dr. Laura. She is such a bitch . . . ;-)