Letters to the Editor
doloresflower
Published Letters: 959 Editor's Choice: 9
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condescending
[Read the article: How Oprah ruined the marathon]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This was not a spindly 24-year-old Yalie gliding through Old World Munich. This was a middle-aged woman hauling her flab around the District of Columbia.
I can't help but think of how insulted Jonathon Franzen was when Oprah picked him to be her book club selection a few years ago. Why is it that whenever Oprah breaks into a traditionally male, make that white male dominated field, she gets insulted? She's destroying the purity of the field. Give a smart, populist, rich, black, middle aged woman a break. The Oprah Line is no small potatoes, she worked hard for it, and if she's the inspiration some people need to pull on their gel-soled shoes and hit the trail every morning, then good for her. Judging from all available statistics, America needs more (not fewer) non-professional athletes....and non-professional readers too, for that matter....
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the beautiful verses the ugly
[Read the article: I can't stand losing my beauty as I age!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've been lucky enough to live in several different cultures. It's funny because when my twenty something friend darcy went to Italy with her mom and aunt, the older ladies got hit on. You could try a trip to Italy....
or....
America is a youth oriented culture, and it's a culture that has been exporting its ideals. I like to think of beauty, the kind the audrey hepburn had for example, only growing better with age. I think she looked nice as a young woman, but as an older woman you could read her character on her face and it was nothing but lovely.
I was not a beautiful young woman. I can admit here that I was chubby with bad skin, and I had no money for nice clothes. The people who say beauty equals youth I don't think they can mean all youth. They didn't seem to mean me. Fortunately, over time I've figured out how to meet social ideals better. But I have noticed this:
that maybe other women were unkind to you when you were young, treating you like competition instead of someone to guide or mentor....so maybe you (understandably) looked to men to figure out your self-worth. I'm not saying that you were wrong to do this, but maybe if you're facing a future of diminishing returns in terms of the attention you once had, maybe try to change your center of gravity, so to speak. Gloria Steinem said that women tend to become more politically motivated as they grow older. Maybe because you're honest enough to say what the dialogue is in your head you can try to change it....change the cycle....look at the young women as people who need a deeper form of self-acceptance than their role in this culture as young sex symbols. Become a media watcher (like I am) and feel compassion for those who are thrust into the sex symbol role too early...like Britney Spears and Lyndsey Lohan....Notice that our culture holds them up at twenty as ideal, and then delights in tearing them down (at 25?) as over-the-hill. Not valuable anymore.
Some kinds of beauty have shelf-lives. Not all kinds. Try to be glad for the opportunities that you've had and the cultural acceptance, but try to widen the opportunities for those who come next. Sometimes I think that generosity is the best antidote to bitterness...it's hard to be bitter when you are giving. Give to yourself, and give to the young women that you are tempted to fear or to resent. I'm not sure what you should give them, maybe just a smile, maybe just kindness...but try to leave the world a better place than you found it.
And good-luck!
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Whatever you do....don't buy GAP certificate
[Read the article: It's gift-giving time, and I'm cranky about gift cards and pushy kids]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm late into this conversation and I'm not sure if someone has already mentioned this but personally I'm boycotting the GAP this year after reading this article:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2200590,00.html
I think that we're allowing marketers to co-opt the next generation by allowing them to become completely seduced by the media without allowing enough opposing viewpoints. Brands are trying to "sell" lifestyles, but often these lifestyles are built in sweatshops around the world. There are some pretty deep injustices.
Kids do care about these things...many times they care more than their parents do (or parents care but they are busier and in a bigger hurry). Having a relationship with children is a responsibility...I think the gift should be about them, and definitely not a sermon...but at the same time, I think it's okay to present a side not in the mainstream media. To tell kids about the reasons a person might not want to buy from the Gap or Nike....
it's difficult in families and I don't know what their parents' beliefs are or what yours are, but it sounds like from your letter that you may have a point about consumerism and children, and your fears for them. There are always books about consumerism like No Logo by Naomi Klein....a really good book even if it does just sit on the shelf for a while before they look at it. Or if you don't like the idea of gift cards give them cash instead and say this is why I'm not giving you a gift card because of these corporate practices...at the same time you are an individual who can decide for yourself what you would like to do, whether it's putting this money in a bank account or going to the movies. I love you and want you to have a happy life and to be smart about the money you have even at your age....
shoot. I guess I might sound preachy there, but you could do it with love and maybe some homemade cookies too. Just let kids know that you love them and they'll listen to what you say even if it takes a while for them to decide what kind of consumer (hopefully not just mindless) that they are going to become.
whew. & good luck.