Letters to the Editor
rooibos
Published Letters: 57 Editor's Choice: 6
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Not so grown up
[Read the article: When are girls too young to go wild?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Hey, LeCastor, what exactly is grown up about preadolescents gyrating in front of an audience of parents and students? You're using an otherwise good point - that adults should allow their children to become independent adults when the time is right - to condone exploitation and objectification. It's a non sequitur. There is nothing okay about children performing a sexual dance on stage for everyone's viewing pleasure. You know what's taboo? Standing up for what's right, and saying that. We as a society seemed to have developed a cultural myopia about the negative effects of mass marketing of sex and what constitutes sexiness. This itself is antithetical to the HEALTHY sexual development of young people.
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To LeCastor
[Read the article: When are girls too young to go wild?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Alright, LeCastor, I will respond. I am short on time, so please forgive my hurried writing style. The author of the editorial was there and he described it as prurient. Therefore, it passes the "I know it when I see it" test, which was good enough for the Supreme Court. Second, it's exploitative because -- whether the girls believe it is innocent or intend it to be arousing, whether they are doing it out of peer pressure or just coincidentally formed the same ideal of sexiness as that marketed on every t.v. and website in America -- their performance ultimately provides a "service" to the audience (and I cringe to think about that in its worst form) and does a disservice to the dancers themselves, given that presenting oneself as a sex object leads to objectification. These children are right at the age where the popularity they stand to gain from grinding around on stage will seem like the ultimate reward. However, just as I guide my daughter away from gorging on sweets, their parents need to step in and guide them to a healthier view of achievement. Third, actually there is one way I would not deem this objectifying or exploitative, and that is if it were done in private or in the context of an age-appropriate, private relationship. Lastly, the difference between women and "girls" (or young women) is that the inputs and experiences of what constitutes healthy sexual behavior in the preadolescent and early teen years are formative, that is, they impact how these children will view sexuality for the rest of their lives. I am a relatively young person in life myself, I remember what it's like to be young and despite appearances I'm not a prude about most sex topics. Yet the negative effects of mass marketed sexuality are evident in my own marriage, as my husband was weaned on it, with no role models for intimacy. It takes a lot of effort to undo, even though he desperately wants to. If you are resolved to justify it, there is little I can do, just as there is little I can do to stop Britney Spears from being a role model.
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shmegegge
[Read the article: The unkindest cut]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"Fuck you ... Bernard!" Peeniegate. I laughed. But, seriously, I'm Jewish and in general I love Jews and Jewish culture and even the Jewish approach to religion where your beliefs are a process of self-discovery. But the one thing typical in the Jewish community that I loathe is parental pressure, and the way some Jewish adult children roll over and say, "Yes, Ma" to every request. I wonder if the author would have even married his gentile wife if his parents had decided their son should marry a Jew and refused to give their blessing. You know, to preserve tradition and not dilute the heritage, blah blah blah. Yeah, Ma, and if you're dying on the hospital table and could be saved and live another five years by a simple but expensive hospital procedure, I suppose I should decline it since healthcare costs are spiraling nationwide. It just doesn't work that way - Neal, you have to do what you believe is best for your child irrespective of tradition or the common good or keeping the peace or whatever. That's my POV.