"Huge Grant" says:

RE: God, are all men this predictable?

Yes we are - unfortunately, we get bored with whom we're fucking...I've not yet met a man who wasn't bored with the woman he's fucking after just a few years....men care about new pussy and conquest, and women care about the guy behind the dick. Men want a new taste, a new smell - a different set of hands running over the dick...after a few years, who wouldn't want to fuck a fresh piece of ass? So, yes, lady, we're that predictable: armed now with that information, let your man roam and he'll come home happy - just don't act surprised or start with the tears...

Boys may be that predictable. Men know how to be constant. Commitment is one thing. Knowing how to love is something else. I've known my wife almost 20 years. We've been together more than 10. Not only does the sex get better and better, the love and connection do too.

Would I trade her in on "the woman of my dreams?" How could I? She already is the woman of my dreams. And she will be for the rest of our lives.

"The customer is queen?" Hah!

This story explains everything, actually. Most women over size 12 and over the age of 30 have long wondered why nobody anywhere sells evening gowns with sleeves, why the high-end clothes are never made in our sizes, and why over half the square footage in most malls is given over to clothes only juniors can wear. Most of the very high-fashion stores like Saks and Barneys simply don't carry anything larger than a size 12. ("You're not our customer," I've been told when I complained about this. Well, no, but I might have been.)

Here, at last, is the explanation. Gay men run the show, and they're designing for women who look like gay men. Making real clothes for real women with real curves and real life experience isn't even on their radar. You can see this bias in the fact that female designers like Eileen Fisher and Dana Buchman -- who do design for women outside the narrow "preferred" age and size limits -- are considered second-class citizens in the fashion world.

Any first-year fashion student can design clothes that look good on a rail-thin body. That's cheap and easy pickings. The art is in making them fit and flow and bring out the beauty of a full bosom or a rounded bottom; or building in the grace and dignity worthy of a woman's years. That's where the skill and talent are required. The fact that most male designers won't even consider going there suggests that they don't have the design chops it takes to pull it off.

At 47, I have a misses' 16 body (that happens after you've had some kids) -- and more money for good clothes than I've ever had in my life. But the more expensive my tastes have gotten, the more limited my choices have become. Most of my fashion dollar these days goes to handbags and shoes, because I can't *find* stores carrying the fashionable clothes I want to buy in my sizes. In desperation, I've taken to either having my things made by a private (female) couturier, or settling for the lower-quality basics I can find at the mall.

Perhaps it's time for women to pull our money away from male-run lines that keep us in narrow fashion boxes, and start supporting female designers who understand -- and deliver -- what we need.

A bit of clarification seems to be in order.

The difference between a couturier and a regular tailor or dressmaker (also good options) is that a couturier is also a designer who produces a new line every season. My couturier puts out five lines a year of impeccable business and casual clothes aimed at a middle-aged, professional clientele, which she sells through four boutiques she owns. She prides herself on knowing her customers' lives and her ability to reflect our regional style; and this informs her design choices.

You can buy her stuff off the rack in regular sizes, for prices that are roughly in line for what you'd pay for a bridge line like Dana Buchman or Eileen Fisher at Macy's. Or, for a little extra, she'll make any piece to measure, in the fabric of your choice (and her fabrics are choice: the last pair of pants were in an exquisite black wool crepe she bought from Armani). It's a decent way to go: thanks to her, at least I have a few suits and blouses that are perfect.

Dressmakers charge a bit less, because they don't have the overhead, and don't do their own design. You supply the fabric and pattern, and they adapt it to fit and make it up. My old dressmaker (who has since retired) used to charge about $200 for a dress, a bit more for a jacket, much less for pants or a skirt. Not all alternations people can do this well; but a competent alterations person is a good person to ask if you're looking around for a dressmaker.

All that said: good dressmakers, tailors, and alterations people are as hard to find as good doctors or hair stylists. When you go this route, and you do find one who can reliably turn out nice clothes, hang onto her and do whatever it takes to keep her happy.

Getting bespoke clothing made is not as la-di-da as y'all seem to think. It's just the last resort of a desperate woman who can't get nice clothes that fit any other way.