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Johnny Salami

Published Letters: 49

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 12:48 PM
Original article: Was Obama's speech enough?

Great!

Just what we need.....another white middle-age, middle-class broad telling us what to think. Like we don't have enough already.

I could go on about this insufferable arrogance all day but I'll keep it short: fuck her and the horse she rode in on.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 08:11 PM

Swell

Anybody want to bet the election turns on Chelsea's reaction to Lewinsky questions? To quote Clay Davis, "Sheeee-it!"

Thursday, April 3, 2008 04:37 PM

Jeez

What a steamin' pile of horse dookey. I started smoking at 9, stealing the Old Man's Chesterfields (non-filter) and thinking I looked cool. In my case, it was true. But the fact that a guy had problems quitting is a mark against him? Get the fuck out.

I quit after 22 years without any problems, and I have 6 ex-wives, two bankruptcies, a lifelong affinity for marijuana, haven't been to church in 45 years and am on a first-name basis with literally dozens of strippers. In short, I am a vile man. But I quit smokin' and never looked back!

So vote for me. My platform is simple: a whorehouse on every corner and two in the middle of the block. At least that's one way to stop these murderous shooting sprees at college.

Unless you can tolerate a smoker, that is.

Thursday, April 3, 2008 04:57 PM

Huh?

Are we still hashing over this subject? When are we going to focus on the REAL issue here: Stretch marks!

Thursday, April 3, 2008 05:12 PM
Original article: Buckle up those fetuses!

Bat Shit

Personally, I think the whole subject is bat shit. This country started going to hell in 1962 when automakers were forced to offer seat belts. Next it was collapsible steering columns, padded dashboards, "crumple zones" and side-curtain air bags.

Am I the only one who misses the phrase "thrown from the wreckage.." in the paper?

This safety craze started America on its long spiral downward. That and using scientific terms for things like boobs and lobs, too. I for one long for the old days af reinforced concrete roadside markers and the old Spear-O-Matic steering wheels. Every car on the friggin' road is like a Goddam Volvo, for fuck's sake!

Jesus H Christ Almighty, I just wasn't made for these times.

Friday, April 18, 2008 12:36 PM

Daytrippers

I'm so broke economic vicissitudes wash right over me. I'm disabled and Medicaid only allows me $725 a month to live. From that I pay property taxes, utilities, insurance, incidentals and then, with what I have left over, food. In short, I'm in a permenant recession. And I'm not crying about it; I'm merely stating the facts so you'll understand my position.

I find things like Heather Havrilesky's articles deeply offensive and very condescending. It may be kicky and fun for her, but for the millions of us who live this everyday it's not. It's as offensive as if she sat in my wheelchair and played "cripple for a day".

What kind of a person does this? I'll leave it to Mrs. Havrilesky to examine her own behavior. But I'm sick to death of the whiny upper middle class sitting on their flabby asses and contemplating their navels and thinking they stand at the apes of creation.

As far as I'm concerned Heather Havrilesky can take a flying flip at a rolling donut.

Friday, April 18, 2008 12:41 PM

Daytrippers

I'm so broke economic vicissitudes wash right over me. I'm disabled and Medicaid only allows me $725 a month to live. From that I pay property taxes, utilities, insurance, incidentals and then, with what I have left over, food. In short, I'm in a permenant recession. And I'm not crying about it; I'm merely stating the facts so you'll understand my position.

I find things like Heather Havrilesky's articles deeply offensive and very condescending. It may be kicky and fun for her, but for the millions of us who live this everyday it's not. It's as offensive as if she sat in my wheelchair and played "cripple for a day".

What kind of a person does this? I'll leave it to Mrs. Havrilesky to examine her own behavior. But I'm sick to death of the whiny upper middle class sitting on their flabby asses contemplating their navels and thinking they stand at the apex of creation.

As far as I'm concerned Heather Havrilesky can take a flying flip at a rolling donut.

Thursday, May 29, 2008 08:10 AM
Original article: Why gas is so expensive

Why

The Arabs turned off the oil in 1973 and the Iranians did it again in 1978. In the 35 tears since the first warning we've done nothing beside getting fatter and more stupid.

An investigation into the causes of high oil prices begins and ends with a look in the mirror.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 08:14 AM

Cowabunga!

And I mean that in the original Chief Thunder-Thud sense. Aside from the effect on kids, this lifestyle offers danger at every turn. I doinked a pair of sisters a few times and it was exhausting. I could barely drag my dead ass to work.

Thursday, June 5, 2008 01:43 PM
Original article: Are you too dumb to vote?

Hey!

As a member of the Stupid Community, I'm offended.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 11:39 AM
Original article: The swing states of 2008

More "Experts"

Here we go again: highly paid experts telling us what we think. Has anyone ever noticed they're wrong more often than the psycics in the National Enquirer? Shouldn't they take a cut in pay every time they goof? If a customer skips on a bill, the waitress pays. Fair is fair.

And look at the soup we're in. We got there listening to experts and following politicians who made a big thing out of their "decency".

It's way past time to put slobs in charge for a while. We may not be better off as a society, but at least we won't have to kow-tow to religion. This no strip joints within 1000 feet of a church thing is not only for the birds, it's very inconvenient.

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