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Mister Marker

Published Letters: 339
Editor's Choice: 8

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 05:50 PM
Original article: "I'm Not There"

"Opinions Are Like Assholes...."

I swear to Almighty God, if I read or hear that flat-headed, ignoramusism one more time someone is goin' to the boneyard. 'Cause you know what, Tommy L.? There are assholes, and then there are Towering Asses of Power.

Allow me to elucidate. Ready? Then step aside.

You see, boys and girls, there are INFORMED opinions and UNINFORMED opinions. Taste counts for something. And there are those who have taste and those who like to pour tobasco sauce on filet mignon. The first one has an opinion worth heeding when it comes to cookery, the second one DOESN'T. Period; solly Cholly.

As to Bob Dylan in particular, all of you waxy-eared wonders who disparage his contributions to WORLD musical culture should do this, just once:

Go into the bathroom - usually the only room in the house with some acoustical quality unless somebody was dumb enough to lay down a carpet - and repeat the following out loud but without singing it or thinking about either Hendrix or Dylan's version...

There must be some way up out of here, said the junky to the thief.

Now repeat it again. Notice anything? There is, in that arrangement of words, proof positive of Dylan's brilliance. Those words, all by themselves, have natural rhythm and melody, something incredibly difficult to achieve in either poetry or song. And to "hear" it, all you have to do is repeat those words, in sequence, even in your own head, as a plain sentence. That's genius, folks, and those who can't recognize it have neither taste nor an opinion worth listening to.

And to those (I'm looking at you, Sally Wolfsbain or whatever your lycanthropic handle is) who would chide Dylan for doing a Victoria's Secret commercial and "selling out" (gee, where have we heard that phrase before in relation to Dylan? Hmmm...) "The Times They Are A Changin'" to a bank commercial, I say "Grow up."

I'm sure the Victoria's Secret commercial was a goof designed specifically by Dylan to piss off people just like you. And that legendary anthem is completely and utterly meaningless in the modern era, something I think Dylan knows better than the rest of us.

In fact, it would be a giant ha-ha if Dylan officially changed the lyric to "The Times They WERE A Changin', So Will Y'all Just Get the Fuck Over It Please? Thanks!"

And thank YOU, and goodnight!

Friday, November 23, 2007 07:12 AM

It Wasn't JAWS IV

It was JAWS 3-D. And the quote is:

Well you know I haven't seen that film so I couldn't tell you. But I have seen the house that it paid for, and it's a beauty.

Just an FYI, Stephanie.

Friday, November 23, 2007 09:42 AM

You Mean This Jackass EXPECTS To Fool People??

He must be from another planet.

Oh yeah, a "tuber" is a euphemism for a hotdog. See also, "Tube Steak." Just a head's up.

Monday, December 3, 2007 03:18 PM
Original article: I Like to Watch

The "Good Old Days" Of Cable Are Back, And You Can See It All on YouTube

An indie organization called WebSerials.com produces at least two very good shows, aired once a week in five minute segments: "Project X" and the more light-hearted "Cataclysmo." Also, there is "Quarter Life" and "I", both of which are very well done and, in the latter case, invites watchers to participate in shaping the show.

YouTube, Revver, Blip.tv, Motioneo and LiveVideo all feature startling good vloggers, how-to and DIY programs ("Indy Mogul" is great for anyone interested in independent filmmaking), as well as an embarassment of riches when it comes to comedy, whether groups or individuals:

*Waverly Films (or "flams" as their YT handle goes)

*Doomed Planet

*Ministry of Unknown Science

*PicnicFace

*WickedAwesomeFilms

*Mark Day

*Lisa Nova

*Michael "What the Buck" Buckley

*Sherry Sirof

*Jacob Sirof

*Tim Babb

*Sandy Stec

I could go on and on, but at least that's a start. Check these folks out. You won't be disappointed.

Oh and for nostalgia, how about ZTV? This was the regional cable channel for the greater LA area in the early-to-late 70s. HBO and Showtime ripped off its programming ideas, but not before the founder and operator of ZTV managed to air the director's cuts - before such a thing was even known - of "The Wild Bunch" and "Heaven's Gate." In the case of the latter, the station showed Cimino's full, four-and-a-half-hour cut, leading a lot of people (like your's truly) to realize that far from being "the worst movie ever made" it is actually one of the best. Of course, I didn't see that cut until IFC showed it a couple of years ago along with the documentary about ZTV, but hey!

Monday, December 3, 2007 03:27 PM
Original article: Obama at the Apollo

No, Alex, Don't Be "Expecting" James Brown Any Time Soon

I guess you didn't hear: He's DEAD.

Monday, December 3, 2007 06:40 PM
Original article: Opus

To Paraphrase Lincoln...

You are inbred, redneck, cracker, peckerwoods, but then we are inbred, redneck, cracker, peckerwoods also. We are all inbred, redneck, cracker, peckerwoods alike.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 04:27 PM

Why Do I Get The Feeling...

...that if and when the revolution finally comes, the Chamber of Commerce is going to be number one on the deathlist.

Number one with a bullet.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 01:34 PM

This Would Explain Why So Many DVDs Arrive Badly Scratched Up...

...and unwatchable. Almost nothing makes my blood boil as much as eagerly anticipating the arrival of a movie I want to see and then not being able to watch it. Grrrrr...

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 01:36 PM

How Silly...

...but at least the singer had (has?) a beautiful voice.

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