Letters to the Editor
Mister Marker
Published Letters: 271 Editor's Choice: 8
-
What A Delicious Article, and What Scrumptious Letters!!
[Read the article: "Schmucks with Underwoods"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I salivated all over the "I'm-in-the-industry-and-here's-my-take" letters. I could tell that most of them weren't lying. I myself have thus far had no industry experience, not even a meeting. But I've written three screenplays, two of which have been well-reviewed by peers who ARE in the biz.
And I plan on directing them myself. That's really the only way to have any creative control in this business. Period.
As to getting into it in the first place, a deliberate trap is layed for budding screenwriters, and the trap is called "gatekeeping." As someone upthread pointed out, the studios - and that's not just the majors, but includes every two-bit B-List actor's prodco to boot - receive tens of thousands of screenplays a year. I can safely guess that about 80% of them are never seen by anyone other than the gatekeepers:
First - Agents
Wanna get your script into the hands of someone with juice? You've got to have an agent. And does the agent spend their days reading dozens of scripts? Why hell no! If they're smart they're on the phone, doing deals, getting their clients work and thus paying the bills. No, the agents hire someone who becomes the second Gatekeeper..
Second - The Reader
The Reader is usually - though not always - themselves a budding and frustrated screenwriter who becomes cynical from slogging through script after shitty script from no-talents, such that after awhile they become incapable of recognizing the real deal. Or, worse still, if they come across the real deal they deliberately rate it "Do Not Consider" out of spite and/or jealousy.
Third - The Agent
If you manage to get past the reader, who stamps your script "Recommend", then it will get into the hands of The Agent. The Agent, whose time is literally money, will read the synopsis and the first two pages. If that doesn't grab them, your script goes into the trash. If it does, you get a call and are invited to a meeting. If you're even more lucky and impress the The Agent, he or she will take you on as a client. They will then send your script to...
Fourth - The D-People
Otherwise known as "D-Boys" and "D-Girls", formally known as Creative Executives, these people also keep on hand a staff of - wait for it - READERS. So you are momentarily back to square one. But lets suppose that in your case the reader stamps it "Recommend." Like The Agent, the D-Person will glance through the synopsis and first two pages. Now again lets say you catch their interest. They call you in for a "development meeting." Now at this point there are forks in the road. If The Agent got ahold of a D-Person at a major studio, you will get an all-expenses paid trip to LA and back...usually. If it was for a prodco, it's gonna be on your dime. Now lets assume that the meeting goes well. The D-Person will kick it upstairs to...
Fifth - Production Executive
The good news: No more readers, and The Production Executive will actually read your whole script. Bad news: If he or she doesn't like it, you're toast with no right to appeal (and The D-Person is in serious trouble). If they DO like it, they will kick it further upstairs to...
Sixth - The Murky People
I call them that because it could anybody in the organization who can green-light a script for production (up to and including the Studio Chief Executive themself). But still, your script could wind up in "development hell" or "turnaround" - another kind of hell. "Development hell" can be detected not by a whiff of brimstone but by the hearing of the words "I like this script, BUT..." And so it passed around from person to person, sometimes landing in the lap of an actor or actress with juice, more often not. This can go on for years (the script for "The Unforgiven" spent about a decade in development hell; everybody loved it, but no one would take a chance on a western. Then Clint heard about it and the rest is history).
So there you go, six levels of nastiness you have to run through to get your script made into a movie.
Unless, of course, your name is Sofia Coppola. But that's a different story altogether.
-
I Don't Care What ANYONE Writes....
[Read the article: Opus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...that was FUNNY!!
-
And Hey!
[Read the article: Opus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]We didn't have to wait long for Garry Owen to arrive, now did we?!
Garry, I don't want to EVER catch you capping on Tom Reedtoon. Seriously.
Last but not least vis-a-vis cats vs. dogs, there's a movie out there that apparently nobody here has seen. Damn good one, too.
-
One Sign of a Good Show Is the Absence of What I Like to Call "Shark Bombs"
[Read the article: I Like to Watch]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What are "Shark Bombs"? They are plot elements that will force a show, when and if it becomes popular, to jump the shark more sooner than later. And "Pushing Daisies" has a whopper - Ned can't touch his girlfriend.
Fast-forward about three seasons, five at the most. Fans of the show start putting pressure on its creators/producer/writers to "resolve" this "problem." They do, with disastrous results. Can you say "David and Maddie finally do the deed on 'Moonlighting.'"?
I knew you could.
So I'll be avoiding this show like the plague.
-
I Never Liked "Peanuts"
[Read the article: "Good Ol' Charles Schulz": the real life Charlie Brown?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I grew up in the 70s and early 80s, and I never understood the appeal. And I've seen collections of the early strips and I STILL don't get the appeal.
Give me some vintage "Bloom County" any day.
-
Just To Clarify the Whole Munich Appeasement Thing
[Read the article: Hitlers, Hitlers and more Hitlers]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]When Germany annexed Czechoslovakia its armies had less than 48 hours worth of ammunition - of ANY kind. Hitler knew that if the British and French attacked those armies in force he would have to sue for peace or see Germany invaded and the Third Reich curtailed if not strangled in its crib. He was nervously counting on them to fold, which of course they did.