There are an enormous number of quacks on YouTube, and the majority of them don't even have a medical license. One individual who specializes in health, diet and medical "advice" said with a straight face that saturated fats are good for you, especially COCONUT OIL. This person offered as evidence the "fact" (try looking it up) that in the 1950s hog farmers tried to fatten up their livestock by feeding them saturated fats, only to discover that the hogs - wait for it - slimmed down, developed greater muscle mass and had shinier coats.

This kind of horseshit is everywhere on YouTube, but then don't hold your breath waiting for them to police these loons. While showing the zeal of Soviet-era Apparatchiks when it comes to copyright, nobody at YouTube gives a damn about anything else. A perfect example is the Hater Phenomenon (yes, folks are starting to capitalize it in recognition of its singularity and significance), wherein scads of Haters hailbomb newbies videos with nasty comments, spamming other's nice comments, down-thumbing comments, one-starring videos irregardless of their quality, leaving nasty comments on people's channel pages and, when things really get ugly, creating sock puppet channels that feature mash-ups of other people's videos. It's become such a huge problem that YouTube recently created a "Council" of five random YouTubers to try and solve the problem. I haven't a clue what these people are supposed to do other than field complaints. That's the totality of YouTube's response, despite the fact that everything I described above is a violation of YouTube's Terms of Use.

So, again, don't hold your breath.

HEY EVERYBODY! Please read this article about my great. Big. TITS!!

I am just completely gobsmacked. But in the interests of fairness, I think it's high time that Salon published an article by a man in possession of a truly awe-inspiring pecker and the problems - or lack thereof - he has experienced.

(By the way, this letter is in no way intended to insult or demean the author, who clearly has some issues. But it is intended as a head's-up to Salon's editors. I mean, really, for the love of merciful GOD)

MAUDE

Come on Maury, say it. SAAAAY IT!!

MAURY

All right, Maude, here it comes: Will you

please move your damn boobs?!

Did I write "great moment from 'Maude'"? I meant to write, "Great moment from television."

"This tragic plane crash brought to you by AT&T. Thanks for dying."

He is a barking loon, a theocrat who would fuck this country even harder than Bush has, or Giuliani would. If he gets within a whisp of the Whitehouse the entire electorate deserves a personality transplant.

Geez, what utter, contemptible crap. Ever heard of a little movie called "Patton"? It was written by this young guy just out of film school. He even won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. What was that guy's name again....

Oh yeah...FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA.

And to the nitwit who dissed his S.E. Hinton adaptations, I'd suggest you pound the books a bit more and develop some real taste before you start yammering at masters. And don't give me that "everybody's opinion differs" crap. Some people have informed opinions, and then there's everybody else.

A whole bunch of them. I'll put them in a cooler, put the cooler in my car, drive to your house and throw them at you when you step outside to go to work.

(just pulling your leg, of course)

They decorate this elegiac holiday piece with a trailer to a "documentary" that is basically a glorified snuff film. Wonderful...Merry Christmas assholes.

Like the previous nine years I will spend Christmas alone, and New Years as well, surrounded by all those who have died, whose presence made Christmas the greatest day of the year, greater even than my own birthday. I will be serenaded by the hysterical, drunken fights of the "families" that live next door to me, one to the left and one to the right, and by the fearful cries of their children.

Oh Holy Night indeed.

The Onion has a problem with "poop humor"? They've got to be kidding us, right? This is, after all, the publication that printed the following back in '98:

CORRECTION-------

Last week we published a piece on Congressional water hearings. What we should have published was "Cum drunk, nut hungry teenage tit-queens crave your sweaty, throbbing cock." The editors regret this error.

I mean, it's not "poop humor", but it's certainly in the same neighborhood.

IT'S A CARTOON!!

GEEEEZZ.....

And I have the proof: The changes they have made to YouTube. Very quietly, over the last month, Google has forced YouTube into becoming a commercial content portal. Here's how:

1. YouTube now deliberately ignores problems with users. If you are being harrassed on YouTube they will do nothing about it. I know of a woman who is being stalked by a man who has threatened to kill her, and YouTube has done nothing about it. It has gotten to the point where the FBI has formally told YouTube that it will be prosecuted as an accessory before the fact if this woman is murdered, and STILL they have done nothing about it.

2. "Broadcast Yourself" is gone. That was YouTube's trademarked tag-line. Can you imagine a company doing that voluntarily?

3. Users with thousands of subscribers can do what they please. The rest cannot. YouTube routinely bans channels that irritate them, or might be controversial. But if you are a user with thousands or tens of thousands of subscribers, they will let you get away with anything. Violate the Terms of Use all you want, because you're partnered and have ads running on your videos. You're making them money, so who cares WHAT you do??

The simple fact is that Google has completely corrupted YouTube. "Don't Be Evil" my ASS.