If you'll graciously allow me to ignore the issue of a very real storm affecting very real people I think I need to pipe up on how this affects the Republican convention and the presidential race.

People, we need to look on the positive side of recent developments and work them for the advantages they are.

The introduction of Sarah Palin into the race and the potential for the hurricane to affect the effectiveness of the Republican convention are like wrapping up two giant gifts and tying the bows for us, the first courtesy of ol' Johnny Boy and the second from dear Mother Nature.

Both of these events could severely cripple the Republican effort and we couldn't ask for more unexpected good news unless Johnny wants to cuss at his wife in public...again.

Of course should their party be completely disrupted, we'll never hear the end of it once they lose in November but, you know what, I'll put up with it!

Now, let's turn and say a prayer for the residents of the Gulf Coast. My relatives headed to northern Louisiana this morning.

named Dusty. Or Festus. or...Tucker.

Go ahead, riff.

Levi? Levon? Levonette?

Their respective sartorial splendor speaks volumes.

Cindy looks money. Real money. Blithe, in-your-face I-will-buy-you-serf money.

Laura Bush, not so much.

Laura looks like money-with-a-stick-up-it's-ass. Married to money. Better, married to her husband's parent's money.

Smile, ladies. Is Sarah still wrappin' bandages down in N'awlins?

NO WE WILL NOT LEAVE A 17-YEAR ALONE.

You don't get it yet do you? I'm not an Obamatron, an Obamamaniac, a Obamanoid, I'M NOT A DEMOCRAT.

You simple-minded buffoons think that your oh-so-sanctimonious self-righteous insufferable indignation is diametrically aimed at your enemy, the Obama Democrat.

BUT IT'S NOT.

You think that because Barry Hussein is taking the high road that anyone advocating his election is de facto his "boy" and you whine: "But Barry said it t'aint fair, he made rules, lay off!"

In this fight, fair is for losers, loser. After twenty-five years, not eight, but twenty-five years since the advent of the despicable Reagan we, the nation, have endured depredation, economic debasement and cultural repression. You and your ilk squeezed and squeezed and in your oily greed it was never enough so you squeezed some more. You squeezed so hard you cracked us and we cried, we wailed and gnashed our teeth.

But we've healed, we've scarred and we've lost everything and there's nothing left but our backbone and a few miserable shreds of what's left of our dignity.

So we're going to attack you, your cohorts and your enablers. We are going to chew John McCain's flavorless bones and spit the shards back in your pompous and cowardly face. And we will do the same to whomever he puppet master's across the three-ring circus we call this miserable "public discourse" we now have in this country.

We're loose and we're nuts and we don't give a shit. As per the late Peter Tosh, we're a stepping razor and we're dangerous.

We're the Independent Voter and we're going to make you rue the day you embarked on this Great Conservative Experiment, The Denigration of America.

Take that to the bank and stock up on canned goods 'cause it's gonna be a long cold winter.

And you're a supercilious toad with your smugness.

You don't get it either, do you? There IS no point, it's all meta-message and it's flying right over your worthless snark. Whoops, they it is!

Keep your guard moving and wear a fucking cup because my name is Shiva and I've got a score to settle.

Well, metaphorically at least.

P.S. Have a nice day.

Oh tiberius do I have to tell you what every other sane poster on this site has already reminded you:

That slime grows on the bottom of rocks and your mama's calling you home, boy. Your little lower-case name with it's air du petit legionnaire is so piquant, n'est-çe pas?

Please, go find some traffic. Play.

Why thank you Tiberius, sorry, tiberius.

You're not keeping up, are you?

Tsk.

I got a box of Qtips coming at you DHL, little buddy, so you can clean the crap out your ears.

Americans love freedom and love to be allowed to live their lives and in their pursuit of happiness they want to know that their government and culture has their backs, supports them and won't abandon them when times are tough.

You and your ilk toy with your petty thoughts and black fantasies like malign baubles and play insane games so that you can enjoy the debased pleasures of humiliating others and making innocents suffer. The track record on this is clear, self-evident and needs no illustrations from my side whatsoever. It's in the public domain for all the world to see.

It's you who are the problem, your methods, your intentions, the very tenor of your soul is a malign shriek that undermines everything wholesome and good about this country and all you and yours have done for the last quarter century is reduce opportunity, shrink the social safety net, pit neighbor against neighbor and alienate the rest of the world.

It couldn't have gone better than if you'd planned it.

Oh, right, you did plan it. Well, then that makes you an amoral criminal, a sociopathic low-life of the most despicable character and a continued bane on the existence of the rest of us.

I strongly suggest you seek the succor and counsel of your priest, minister, rabbi, imam or social worker so that you can work out the long-term payment plan for the penance and amends you owe the rest of us.

Because you're not going to live long enough to really balance the scales but at least we'll know you're preoccupied and we wont have the fear of constant betrayal or of being stabbed in the back at every turn.