Because I cannot, for the life of me, think why she'd post a column such as this one on Salon.com. Really, Camille, you are better off at Fox News or some other conservative outlet.

For you to claim Palin 'cleaned Joe Biden's clock' during the VP debates tells me that either a) you and I live in completely different universes or b) you are finally acquiring dementia. Or, like I said above, you like negative attention.

Palin's folksy/cute act, along with the obnoxious winking during the debate, only confirmed my worst fears about her--that she is willing to use her female charms to mask a complete lack of credentials for the second-highest office in the land.

I have several of your books, Camille, and have been meaning to get to them. But, if your columns are any indication of your books, I'd just assume give them to the local library.

And I am as much of an alcoholic as any skid-row drunk. Yes, I am/was considered 'high bottom' but my drinking provided me the same sense of relief that you described and, trust me, normal drinkers don't think that way.

In fact, normal drinkers don't think about their drinking at all. They can put it down whenever and never notice its absence.

We drunks, however, notice it when it's gone. We might feel slightly off...get more irritable, discontented and restless. Or, as in my case, we get suicidal. That is what got me into a 12 Step program--not because I was drinking daily (I wasn't), nor because I got a DUI (I didn't), nor because I got sick with various diseases caused by alcoholism (I didn't). No, what drove me into AA was that I became overwhelmed by my emotions without my 'medicine' and was genuinely afraid of where it was going to lead.

I was very blessed that I didn't have to suffer 10 to 20 more years of hell to break free from my denial, surrender the fight of trying to quit and reach out to others who knew how to stay sober for long periods of time.

You still have the family, job, cars, etc. I strongly suggest you go to an open meeting of AA, pick up the Big Book of AA and read the stories in the back...especially the ones in the section "They Stopped in Time." Those stories saved my life.

Just remember something, you wouldn't be writing to Cary if your drinking didn't bother you. And, as someone once told me many years ago--if you think you have a problem with alcohol, you probably do.

I don't understand why he didn't just flush his used condoms down the toilet.

Problem solved.

Hot sauce???

...because I will say simply that you are not sober and you need to get sober if you are to effectively deal with the issues you write about.

I say that because you identify yourself as an alcoholic and I have some knowledge of the disease of alcoholism. I also have some knowledge of trying to control other's behavior (as you are doing) and it's much easier to let people be who they are when we are fully in recovery. I mean fully.

Stop the marijuana maintenance program and find a recovery plan that works for you (AA is good but there are others). And stop trying to change your ex-husband.

It took us years to get into our alcoholic mess, it will take time to get out of it.

Let me give you some direction on a subject I know well: how to recover and be happy, joyous and free in recovery.

First, don't run away from your feelings. That is old behavior. Sit with the feelings. And, while you are doing that...

Take contrary action. Go to meetings. Lots of them. Get a sponsor. Get a Big Book and work the Steps with your sponsor. Call your sponsor. Everyday.

Get out of yourself and your head. Talk to someone newer than you at a meeting. Get committments at those meetings. Give back.

Your ACTIONS must change before your feelings do. We act ourselves into right thinking, not think ourselves into right action.

You will feel better eventually but it takes time....

On one hand, I can relate since I have gone for years at a time without sex and/or boyfriend. And have wanted one.

On the other hand, I had to arrive to the conclusion that I was attracting who I am. Therefore, if I was attracting guys who didn't want a relationship (only sex), then there was a big part of me who was afraid/weary/dubious of having a relationship as well.

In other words, I was responsible. If I started to get cynical towards men (which Kit Naylor has touched upon a little), I had to accept that I would attract said men. Once I started to change that, then my reality changed.

So, I started to love myself more. I know that sounds cliche but it really works. I work out, I stay creative, I have a very active social life. Therefore, I attract men. Some of them much younger than me (many in their 20s). And I'm 48.

Over a year ago, I met someone. And guess what? He's just like me. Which, quite honestly, isn't always good. We are both volitale and quick to irritation. Sometimes, when we are not getting along, I long for my single days. Because, before I met him, I came to value my singlehood. In fact, I loved it.

But he has taught me staying power and a willingness to work out issues.

We may or may not stay together--we are both in our late 40s and neither one of us wants to get married.

But if I find myself single again, I know I will be happy. With or without sex and/or love.

Because happiness is a choice. I wish you the best, Ms. Naylor.