To Viv and all the normal humans on the letters pages:

You've probably figured it out already, but this is Ben Dover's M.O.: whenever someone attacks or disagrees with you, call them fat. If they persist, call them a fat bitch. Or else, they're old and should all commit mass suicide, being of no use to him. Eventually tell them to wash themselves with a rag on a stick, put a bag over their head, and eat a Grand Slam at Denny's.

Obviously you've gotta be ugly to think he's a fugly little loser. In his little world, he just cannot conceive that anyone attractive and thin could possibly find him odious. All the Stepford hotties are in lockstep in their adoration of Ben D.!

If your a guy and disagree, he'll call you a pussy.

He's a pathological liar, has this shtick about being an executive investment banker in some tacky Orange County shithole, with these sleek gorgeous women (they're called "hookers," Ben) lining up to date him. He snorts at the people who hang out here, though he himself is here all the time.

In an earlier incarnation he had a divorced wife and two kids. Later, he had never married and would never in his right mind marry. Make up your mind, honey.

And he will always have the LAST WORD on everything, including this post. Like executive hotshots have the time or inclination to write one dumbass post after another just to feel superior. As if anyone even nominally happy would bother. He went back to the Josh Max article MONTHS after the party had moved on, just to keep his dull opinions spewing for anyone left to read them. (Yes, I realize I was one of them, but there is an entertaining-in-a-trainwreck-way quality to his posts. I'm probably a masochist.) But that is one deluded fuck. He delights in nothing more than killing off every thread he enters.

He's just a really loathesome, deluded loser, and we all know these types have tiny tiny little penises, right? Dumbass fugly male bitch. Or else, he's 12, really really bored, and needs more supervision.

Of course your reasons for being here are so much nobler than everyone else's...

Check out my comments under the "Is it a lunch date" column. You're a star!

Incidentally, whether or not your lying story were true, there would be NO ONE on this planet envious of you. No one.

Enjoy the hooker sex!

(kiss kiss)

Wow, is that the best you can do?

And again, everyone who calls you on being the neanderthal you are is either fat, ugly or "poor"? Do you have any idea what kind of asshole you come off as? (And don't come back with "I don't care, I'm so rich, I laugh at all of you" blah blah...'cause if you didn't, you wouldn't be wasting your time posting and lurking here constantly.)

You are not wealthy and "successful." And on the very miniscule chance you do have money, it's because Daddy the CEO pays you off to sit quietly in one of the back offices, where you can spend your days harmlessly masturbating and writing to salon, and not embarrass anyone or bring down the family empire with your half-witted incompetency.

I never mentioned anything about your being married--in fact, the hooker sex in your case was the only way on this earth you'd ever get laid by a so-called "hot" woman (or any woman at all, most likely).

Incidentally, what IS the market rate for keeping a pathetic jerk-off son on the payroll? It's gotta be sweet!

As I said earlier, I'm sure you'll get the last word in, as always...but you gotta do something about the ADD and the learning disabilities. In particular, your lack of any ability to use logical arguments is astounding...

How'd the date at the Fairmont go?

"My name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht."

Hideous.

Yuck. LW, if this is true, you've married into a family with some boundary issues.

Just hand your mother-in-law the yellow pages, and have her find someone else to take the pictures. The type of body she has isn't the (major) problem here.

No Name Given wrote (sorry I don't know how to do italics):

{On the one hand, you say not telling someone is amoral and immoral. Therefore, if I hypothetically want to be with you (GOD ONLY KNOWS WHY), the right thing to do would be to tell you.

Except then you say that IF someone told you, you would tell them to get lost.

So. If there is any karma and justice in the world, you will meet someone one day who grows to love and adore you and you will feel the same. And they would tell you. And then you would reject her cruelly and unkindly for being honest and straightforward. And then you would spend the rest of your pathetic days miserable and alone longing for something you will never have.}

You're completely off the mark, No Name Given. He will never pine for and regret his treatment of any stupid woman. Since (from what he writes) this person's dealings with women are completely superficial, pure transaction, lacking in any warmth, perceived loyalty or any emotional complexity whatsoever, and seemingly based entirely on financially-based (from woman's point of view) quid pro quo, what is much more likely to happen is that the woman doesn't tell him anything and he gets his nice little STD. That I could definitely picture.

Your daughter sounds like a nasty, judgmental bitch. But look where she came from.

And it's true, on my mom's side her mother, aunts, sister and so forth were rather obese in the previous generations. As a result, she was pretty hypervigilant about keeping us kids at a normal weight, and very strict with food.

Anyway, don't distort reality to support your irrelevant viewpoints.