It's interesting - reading the LW's words, all I can think is "100% Get Away" and yet... having been there before, I know that it can seem like there is a decision to be made.

My last break up was similar - I thought he was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with, and I couldn't envision a different outcome. I had a lot of... negative energy around him for a long time afterward. I kept checking his Flickr pages for photos revealing his new life (darn internet!) and would bring him up with friends we had in common. Every time I walked away with queasy feelings of missing out on something.. until I stopped.

A year of focusing on me, and my goals, and a house remodel, and my favorite TV programs, and my own travel... and somewhere I became a person again not thinking about him. And somewhere along the way someone came into my life who doesn't force me to make all the comprimises the ex require (comparable, I think, to the LW's relocation to another city.)

And now I'm a much happier man... which I didn't think was possible. It works.

G

I think the 7 days clause is in the roomate agreement for a reason. I learned from my neighbor, who had a "friend" staying with her for a while, that once the seven days are crossed, anyone you let stay in your home can gain new rights - the "friend" had to be evicted through a lengthly process (my neighbor eventually had to get a restraining order as the "friend" became violent.)

The folks here in the forum that are saying "just be nice to the poor woman" are of another age. They are the same people who don't get receipts for things, don't write down the names of customer service reps they spoke with on the telephone, and get work done on their house without contracts. Although one might have good luck living life this way, and never run into an issue, believing in their own "good judgement" it's a very unsafe way to go.

Play it safe, get this docuement signed as soon as possible, or get them (or just the mother) out. And make new rules between the roomates about subletting. Meet the sublettor before allowing her to move in, and have the docuements ready to sign.

...at the mention of a live band in a gay bar in NC. In all my travels in gay bars in the USA, I've only seen a band in a gay bar once, in Los Angeles. Someone thought they were creating a clever letter, and I think Cary knows whats up by his answer, without so much saying so.