Did no one edit this article?

ADD is NOT Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It is Attention Deficit Disorder. Attention Deficity Hyperactivity Disorder is ADHD. The two diagnoses are not identical. One can have attention deficits without being hyperactive.

In the '70s, when ADD drugs were first being tested . . . . In time such reasoning was applied to younger kids -- twitchy, foot-tapping 7- and 8-year-olds, too." Ritalin was in use for what was just called Hyperactivity well before the 1970's and it was used for pre-adolescents. (My sister was on Ritalin in the mid-1960's, long before her adolescence.)

Ritalin also has a paradoxical effect. Although it speeds up the normal brain (hence why non-ADD/ADHD folks want it)it slows down the ADD or ADHD brain so that the person can concentrate. The fact that Ritalin works on a person can be diagnostic of whether there is ADD/ADHD. If it works, person is ADD/ADHD. If it doesn't work, the person may not be.

"But at the same time the definition of treatable depression was watered down -- renamed as social anxiety disorder, panic disorder and, my personal favorite, generalized anxiety disorder." These are all different diagnoses with different recommended treatments.

Yes, sometimes psycotropic drugs are prescribed casually to people who really don't need them. People are also prescribed antibiotics for virus infections. When the patient demands, some doctors cave. However, just as the patient with bacterial meningitis needs antibiotics, for brain disordered patients, the right drug is essential.

I am surprised that Cary did not discuss Alanon.

The letter writer is involved in a relationship with an alcoholic with serious mental health issues. The first thing he needs to accept is that he has absolutely no control over his ex-wife's drinking and mental health. No control. None. The only thing he can control is his own behavior and how he responds to her. Despite the advice of some of the other writers, bargaining for her to get help won't work.

Alanon doesn't recommend jettisoning the alcoholic and suggests waiting a year before making any permanant life decisions. The support of Alanon members can help him allow his ex-wife to experience the logical and natural consequences of her alcoholic behavior while he builds a healthier life for himself and his son, a life no longer focused on his ex-wife's drinking and problems.

Yes, alcoholism is a disease but that is not a free card. Just as a diabetic has the responsibility to take insulin and watch his diet, an alcoholic has the responsibility seek treatment and not to drink. There is no moral law that states that you have to watch a person with a disease deliberately kill himself and wreak damage on you and her child, without doing what you have to do to save yourself and your child.

I understand the letter writer's situation perfectly. A few months ago, I was seriously considering selling MY house, leaving my family and dear friends here in this town to move across the country to live with an old friend and his partner just because I couldn't take life with my alcoholic significant other any longer.

Now I'm in Alanon. My significant other is still in my life, but I'm learning to live to life my life without desperation.

Excuse me? "Indigenous societies with a long history of religious use do not have the type of drug problems that our society does." Have you ever looked at the statistics for alcohol and methamphetimine use on American Indian reservations?

It's not uncommon for open heart surgery to be followed by depression and memory loss. Some of it is due to the procedure (especially if a heart/lung machine was used) and some due to the meds, and some due to the fact that (especially if you're relatively young--such as in your 50's)you are faced with the fact, rather than an abstract theory, that you will die. You can get over most of it, but it takes time. It also can take treatment.

After I had unexpected open heart surgery when I was in my mid-fifties, I'm afraid I was a bit of a pain in the ass for several months. Fortunately, my family and friends were able to deal with me until I pulled through. I did keep my sense of humor though, which helped everyone.

"And, of course, since the quickest path to public rehabilitation is to declare you have an addiction, McGreevey now views his life through the fuzzy gauze of the 12-step program. He claims to have been an addict all along; he was hooked, not on drugs, drink, sex or gambling, but simply on "being central in the world, to being accepted and adored in the way that celebrities are adored -- by strangers, in abundance." In other words, he is an egomaniac. He shies away from this word because to use it would call into question his motives for "confessing" in the genre of best-selling autobiography. But once the signal clichés of addiction recovery begin to make their way into the book, McGreevey's halfhearted apologia and barely submerged defiance begin to make sense. How can you be sorry for actions over which you "have no control," for a life you did not quite live? You accept them with serenity."

The author does not understand twelve step programs. Admitting that you are powerless over your addiction does not mean that you are powerless over your actions. Working a twelve step program includes a "fearless moral inventory" and amends to the people that your addicted behavior has harmed. The basis of twelve step programs is to accept responsibility for your self--for your own emotions and your own actions. You don't achieve serenity by just saying "Opps, no control, I'm sorry if you think I hurt you."