Letters to the Editor
kansasgirl
Published Letters: 100 Editor's Choice: 14
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spoilers
[Read the article: "Into the Wild"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm with Dogtown. I loved the book but by the end I just thought this kid was an idiot.
And for those of you worried about spoilers - the book opens with his death. You know throughout the entire journey how it's going to end.
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career day
[Read the article: Is Star Simpson's "fake bomb" just an art jacket?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm still confused that this was her career day outfit. I guess she would stand out - in my day you got dressed up for such things. You didn't necessarily need to wear a full-on business suit, but you'd look pretty unprofessional in a home-made sweatshirt.
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money
[Read the article: I resent my fiancé because he is rich]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I had a roommate once who was dating a great guy. He adored her, treated her well, she was crazy about him....and then she found out he was rich. She had such a chip on her shoulder about her blue-collar roots that she could never get past his wealth. Her money issues destroyed their relationship. Don't let the same thing happen to you. Cary's advice is great, but if you're still having trouble handling this after talking to your fiancee, maybe you should seek some therapy to sort out your feelings. Good luck.
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I can bring home the bacon but no man here either
[Read the article: Bringin' home the bacon, but no boyfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]From the article:
"At least one survey, which the Times actually cites, has shown that college women, upon graduation, overwhelmingly say they would prefer to marry a high school teacher who would act as a dedicated father than a high-earning surgeon with little time for family. The point being that "young professionally oriented women have no problem dating down if the man is secure, motivated in his own field and emotionally supportive," reports the Times. But plenty of women also have those basic requirements for dating up ... or dating someone at all. What's the story here?"
The story is that self-reported behavior and actual behavior are often very different things.
I don't think this piece is necessarily alarmist (I certainly wouldn't say it's warning women to get off the career track); in fact, I think it's pretty realistic. I've discovered that many men do have issues with women who make more money than them.
I'm a feminist and I always offer to pay my own way, and in fact I prefer a guy who treats me as an equal and lets me cover my share. I always feel like it's hypocritical to be an independent woman yet expect a man to take care of me. That said, many men do insist on paying, and over the years I've finally realized that some of them really do find it insulting if I don't let them pay. And honestly, while I'm not looking for a man to support me, I would have some issues dating someone who makes significantly less than I do. In my mind I make exceptions for creative or worthwhile jobs, but if a guy just doesn't have any ambition or drive, it's a deal-breaker. I don't need someone to financially support me, but I don't want to financially support someone else either.
I feel sorry for the guys. It must be so confusing. There are woman like me who offer to pick up the tab and mean it, and are more comfortable being financially equal, and who absolutely hate it when men try to brag about how much money they have. They are women who expect the man to pick up the tab every time, even if the woman asked the man out, and only date men who make enough money to provide for them financially and expect men to brag about how much they make. And there's lots of shades of gray in between. It's not easy for any of us to navigate these waters.
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Newsflash
[Read the article: I want a perfect wedding, but my in-laws are trashy]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cary's right. Yes, you do have to be the bigger person at your wedding.
Your 20-year-old future sister-in-law did not plan her pregnancy to interfere with your wedding. And if she did (a very big "if") she's got way bigger problems than you do, so give her a pass.
If there are no kids allowed at the wedding, make that clear to her. Make it clear it applies to everyone, not just to her. But it sounds as if you don't want the brother and sister-in-law there, regardless of the kid, because you disapprove of their situation and of the 20-year-old especially.
Why does it matter to you how she lives her life? Are you really that concerned about her personal well-being, or your future brother-in-law's happiness? Or are you embarassed that your future husband's trashy family will reflect badly on you? I think you should really examine why you feel this way, because obviously there's a lot more going on than whether or not you want children at your wedding.