Letters to the Editor
kansasgirl
Published Letters: 104 Editor's Choice: 15
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Throwing out the skinny jeans isn't enough
[Read the article: The family jeans]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I found this article very disturbing.
I'm not a parent, but as the oldest of dozens of cousins and a proud aunt, I've dressed many babies in my life. And I know that you don't force babies into clothes that don't fit. I'm glad the author acknowledges this wasn't her finest moment, but I still can't believe that squeezed her child into these jeans and left her in them for an hour! Her daughter is a child, not a dress-up doll.
I urge the author to get some psychological help for her own body issues. I'm not trying to be snarky, I'm completely sincere. I'm glad the author has realized it's inappropriate to squeeze her 15 month old into skinny jeans, but the fact that she is this concerned about her daughter's body is a huge red flag to me. I do think it's understandable, and (unfortunately) common for women to worry about their daughters' weight and to project their own issues onto their daughters. However I think it's highly unusual to be worrying about this when a child is still in diapers. Babies are not proportioned like toddlers, or young children, or pre-teens, and certainly not like teenage girls. And a chubby baby doesn't necessarily become a chubby adult. (I don't know the medical stats on this, but I know what my cousins looked like as babies and how they look now, and the chubbiest of the lot is the skinniest now, as a grown man.)
If the author is already this worried about her daughter's body, she will - consciously or not - project her own body issues onto her daughter even more as the daughter becomes older, and does start to develop into a young woman. Throwing out the skinny jeans doesn't go far enough in breaking this cycle, and I urge the author to further explore and deal with her own body issues before she inflicts them on her daughter.
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Question
[Read the article: I've had three miscarriages and my husband won't wear a yarmulke]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm confused about what a yarmulke means.
I grew up in a Protestant home. In my church, we had communion every week. You take communion if you are baptized and you believe Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior. If you have been baptized in another church, you can still take communion. If you have not been baptized, you should not. I have been baptized but in the years since have become disillusioned with the Christian faith. When I go to my hometown I avoid going to church. I like the church itself: I like the pastor and the people and the community. But I know that it's hypocritcal of me to take the communion. And because I was baptized in the same church, there is no easy way for me to avoid communion. I might as well wear a huge neon sign on my head that says "I rejected the Word of God."
It would be ugly. It's best I avoid church.
My queston is: is not wearing a yarmulke akin to not taking communion? Or is it akin to showing up to a formal church service in shorts and flip-flops?
Some readers seem to feel that entering a temple with a head covering is simply a sign of respect, others indicate it's a sign of belief in Judaism. I'm curious about which it is, or if it's a shade of gray. I think it makes a world of difference in this problem.
But regardless of all that, I thought Cary's answer was spot-on.
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Re: Don't we wish it was over
[Read the article: Marryourdaughter.com jilted at the altar ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]rhenly writes: "Don't we wish it was over ...While that web site might think it's a joke - the problem is real enough - even in the US......" and goes on to refer to Warren Jeffs polygamous sect.
Actually I think the public reaction to the Warren Jeffs case shows that this type of behavior IS essentially over in the U.S. I'm sure the vast majority of Americans think that parents marrying off their children is wrong. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone, outside of FLDS, who thinks it's okay to arrange marriage for their underage child. Just because a few crackpots in Utah believe in something doesn't mean it's a serious problem in this country.
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Not political
[Read the article: Fox muzzles Sally Field]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm sure that any U.S. network would have censored her at "goddamn," whether she was referring to war, Republicans, Democrats or Bin Laden. It wasn't a political decision. Katherine Heigl and Ray Romano got the same treatment and they weren't making any political statements.
http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2007/09/16/966430-emmy-censors-got-workout-on-awards-night
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Re: Breastfeeding is an intimate act
[Read the article: Bill Maher: "Don't show me your tits!" ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm with jebldmm. I've tried to make this point before on the Salon boards (though less eloquently) and been shot down by lactivists. But I think it's a very valid point.
I also agree with points other posters have made about it depending on the woman and whether or not she's doing it for attention. I've seen a lot of women breastfeed (lots of friends and family members have babies). Most are very discreet and treat it as a normal, natural process (as it is). Some (very few, fortunately) do everything they can to draw attention to themselves and make sure that everybody in the room notices what they're doing, and to make sure that everyone knows they are mothers, and therefore very special people, and furthermore, they are good mothers because they are breastfeeding and it is a natural process and how dare you notice that I am breastfeeding while I dramatically coo over my baby and talk about how important breastfeeding is and how ridiculous it is that people are staring at me as I do everything in my power to make sure everyone is staring at me.
It's like going to my gym. Most of the people there are there to work out. Some of them are there to make sure everyone sees how good they look while they're working out.
Narcissists are just really annoying, whether they're breastfeeding or not.