Letters to the Editor
kansasgirl
Published Letters: 101 Editor's Choice: 14
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a couple things
[Read the article: Desperately unhappy in the top Ivy League school]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW, you do sound pretty down. I hope you figure out what's the best thing for you. I think Cary's advice is good.
A couple of things: you say you want to get into the New York publishing world. Just bear in mind that you might not like New York any more than wherever you are now. I've lived in Chicago, Austin, New York and LA, and New York was the most soul-crushing place I've ever lived....AND I worked in publishing there. That's not to say you won't like New York, just to say that you shouldn't assume you'll love it. I fell in love with the image of New York. I always wanted to live there. I wanted it so badly that it took about 3 years of living there before I finally admitted to myself that I hated it and it wasn't working for me. Now I live in your hometown, which is the best place I've ever lived. I know plenty of people hate LA but it suits me perfectly.
Also, this made me laugh out loud: "I'm interested in getting into the publishing world of New York, both as an editor to pay the bills, but then hopefully as a writer myself."
Now, if by "pay the bills" you mean "pay the bills with generous support from my parents and/or trust fund," or "spend half my monthly salary on a tiny apartment in Queens that I share with 2 other people," you're in luck. If you intend to earn decent money, publishing is not the business, whether you're an editor or a writer, unless you're a top editor (and that's years in the making) or a top commercial writer (and I suspect you're more interested in being a literary novelist than the next Danielle Steele). If you actually want to make decent money writing, you're best off back here in LA where there are plenty of opportunities to earn good cash in the movie and TV business while you write your novel on the side.
Anyway good luck to you. For what it's worth, it does sound to me like you'd be happier on the west coast. Don't let yourself believe it's a sign of weakness if you leave (because it sounds like you think that). Remember that walking away from something is a sign of strength. You're choosing to take care of yourself, perhaps in spite of what everyone else thinks is the "right" thing, and that is a strong, courageous thing to do.
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One more thing
[Read the article: Desperately unhappy in the top Ivy League school]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Ignore Jeebery Wonkers. If you are tempted for one split second to read his mad ramblings, click on his name to read his past letters. If you have any doubts about the relevance of his opinions, I think the misogony in the first letter will clarify it for you.
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You can change
[Read the article: I'm perpetuating the cycle of emotional abuse]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My dad tells me that he used to have a big problem with his temper until his doctor told him that if he didn't deal with it, it would kill him.
Personally, I have no idea what he's talking about because (1) I've never faced the same issues myself, and (2) I've never seen that side of my dad.
Now, I've seen my dad mad or angry, but I've never seen him SO angry that I can imagine a medical doctor telling him he needs to control his temper. My dad says his doctor told him he needed to stop losing his temper and he did, end of story.
My point is...there is hope for you. If my dad could simply decide to get his anger under control, and to an extent that his "anger problem" is something his children can't imagine he ever had, there is hope for you. I agree with Cary and all the posters who say you should get therapy, and with everyone who says you've made a HUGE step in facing the problem. The healing process might be tough going for a while , but I'm confident you'll come out okay on the other end. It's a courageous thing to tackle but the willingness to do so is least half the battle.
Good luck to you.
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Missing the boat (the LW, not Cary)
[Read the article: I want more commitment from my married girlfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My dilemma is she hardly uses the words "I love you" to me.
Your dilemma is not what you think it is.