Letters to the Editor
kansasgirl
Published Letters: 110 Editor's Choice: 15
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Been there
[Read the article: Should we euthanize the Yorkie?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My heart goes out to the letter writer. My grandfather (along with a great-aunt and 2 great-uncles) died of Alzheimer's. It's a horrible disease and causes an enormous amount of stress on the caregivers and family.
My grandmother (who doesn't have Alzheimer's, but does have dementia) recently had to be moved to a nursing home. For several years, as her condition deteriorated while she lived at home, she had an annoying, smelly, yappy dog. She loved that dog. The rest of us couldn't stand it and hoped the dog would die of natural causes. Eventually it did. Now my grandmother forgets the dog is dead and asks where he is. One of the very few fortunate aspects of dementia (and Alzheiemer's) is that the victims don't necessarily remember loss and grief. So when my grandmother asks where the dog is, we make up a story about him being out with another family member or just outside, and 5 minutes later she either forgets about it or asks again. (We do the same thing when she asks about my grandfather who's been dead for nearly 20 years, and her brother, who's been dead about 40 years.)
I think Cary's advice is good, but I'm not sure it's even necessary to have the dog visit. It's easy enough to tell an Alzheimer's patient a white lie to spare their feelings. And this family - especially the grandfather - is under more than enough stress dealing with the grandmother. While the grandmother's happiness is important, she's not living in the same reality as her family members and caregivers. They're the ones who really need some care and consideration right now.
Good luck in dealing with all this. I hope all of you can find some counseling and support groups - Alzheimer's is a tough road.
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re: turn the burners off
[Read the article: Should we euthanize the Yorkie?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Chickadee, I'm not sure you've dealt with much Alzheimer's in your life (and I'm not sure some of the rest of you offering advice have either). You advise the LW to "Tell your grandmother the dog is sick and needs to be on a special diet. Provide, and keep in a conspicuous place for her, tiny low-calorie dry dog food that she can give chunks of as treats when she thinks of it, measured for a full day's proper nutrition, and give the dog the last of it at day's end."
Most Alzheimer's patient's in the middle-stage wouldn't know or be able to remember that the dog is on a special diet. This is a woman who can't remember that she fed the dog. Before long (if not already) she probably won't remember if she's eaten that day herself. My great-aunt gained lots of weight as her Alzheimer's progressed because she ate several meals a day, never knowing she'd already had a meal (or 8) that day.
Also when you said "turn the burner off" I really thought you were going to suggest turning the burners off in the house. We had to disconnect the gas to my grandma's house because she kept leaving the burners on. (That was one of the last steps before moving her to a nursing home.)
As for those questioning the grandfather's suicidal thoughts - I'm not surprised the man's suicidal. He's watching his wife deteriorate into someone else. Some Alzheimer's patients become violent and belligerent. Some forget all social norms and walk around naked or make obscene comments that would horrify their former selves. If her personality hasn't changed yet, they're lucky. I bet it has though. I bet there are or will be financial problems as well, unless they're lucky enough to be very wealthy....which I'm guessing they're not, or they would probably have more outside caregivers for the grandmother, easing the family's burden. (And if they can afford it but aren't out of pride or something....get the caregivers already!! They're lifesavers!)
Yes, we all know the dog isn't the whole problem, but the dog is still A problem and the last thing this family needs is more problems.
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Jesus had it right
[Read the article: Crashing Larry "Don't be evil" Page's wedding]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Let those without sin cast the first stone.
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Push presents
[Read the article: Roundup: Do these punching bags encourage female violence?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't understand the problem with the "push presents." My brother gave my sister-in-law a beautiful necklace after my nephew was born, with her birthstone and my nephew's. He added my niece's birthstone to it after my niece was born. I thought it was a beautiful gesture to commemorate the birth of their children. My sister-in-law isn't one for jewelry (nor is my brother) but she wears the necklace often.
And how are these so different from a mother's ring, besides the fact that they're given at the child's birth? Or are mother's rings considered anti-feminist too? I inherited my grandmother's mother's ring (not to be confused with my great-grandmother's ring). It's nothing fancy but it has great sentimental value for me, as I'm sure these "push presents" do to the women who receive them, or to their daughters or other loved ones who may inherit them someday.
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Re: what happened......
[Read the article: Romance in a fluorescent-lit cubicle ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's about the same, but now you go to the bar and have cocktails with your co-workers and have sex with them instead of random strangers.