Help me understand why you are not holding Hamas responsible for the deaths and destruction in this current conflict. Why are they not accepting cease fire, but want to pursue this pointless military confrontation that they have no hope of winning? Why is it that the world is more aghast at the number of civilian deaths than they themselves, as if it's not their own people?

why are you saying

If you are defending the deaths of a thousand civilians, and that's what the number is likely to come to

instead of talking of the actual number of civilian deaths? What is your argument that it will be "likely" outcome?

I don't have the knowledge of what happened during that incident with bomb shelter, but I don't think you can make the argument that the incident was intentional. More likely, someone screwed up, just as someone screwed up in a similar instance during Lebanon war in 2006.

And in respect to the UN worker who died during 3-hour truce, it seems that he died from Hamas sniper fire. UN at first claimed that he died from Israeli shelling, but he actually died from gunshot wound. That's from an article in Jerusalem Post. If you have better sources, then perhaps you can share them.

so what, are you saying that IDF is deliberately targeting civilians?

and btw, I agree that using cluster bombs in Lebanon war was immoral. Are you saying that somehow I am defending it?

I'm calling you sick for whitewashing Hamas of blame and instead piling all the blame on Israel. More than that, many of you are implying that Israel is targeting civilians deliberately.

But now I will also add that you are sick in trying to make me look as if I like that Palestinian civilians are dying or that I'm boasting of IDF's killing power. Great smearing technique, bravo!

How is it I am justifying deaths? Why would I try that? You are assigning me moral depravity just to smear me.

Answer me this: what possible motivation would IDF have in deliberately killing UN workers? What proof do you have that these deaths were deliberate?

I bet the decision to leave the recent ex-boyfriend actually came 3 months ago. It just didn't become clear until recently. If you keep thinking about ambitions, your own and someone else's, eventually you internalize it as an important consideration and act on it. Now all of a sudden other considerations start to appear. It doesn't mean that the decision itself was right or wrong. I can understand though that it can be upsetting when you realize what you are doing only later, but that's how most things happen in life.

In my view, self can be described as having two parts, one is the verbal part, the one heard in the letter, and the other one that is more like the non-verbal emotional part, the one that actually does most of the real work. When you meditate, it allows you to go away from the verbal, reflective part, and reconnect with the process part.

However, the two have to be connected, and the best way to do this is to look around and find what you think is important for you personally to do (not getting stuff like health insurance, although that it obviously important, but more like creating stuff yourself) and then try to achieve it. And as you are trying to complete a task that is not trivial, like maybe finish a B.A. or even just one course, or maybe reaching out to someone and trying to make a connection, in that process you will get a chance to reconnect the two parts of yourself.

What I think often happens then is that the reflection part is too critical and too negative in its treatment of the process part. So you have to be a little kinder to yourself and let your process part go where it wants to go.

otherwise, some of the posts here I find infuriating. Many are good and compassionate and talk from personal experience, but some have the chutzpah to provide diagnosis. I would also second the caution about medications and therapists -- it's good to have an ally, someone you can trust, but if the person is not your ally, they can do a lot of damage. To me, self-reliance and listening to yourself and what you are doing is the most precious thing I have.

Also, LW, since you mentioned Old Testament, maybe you should look into Judaism? I have one person among my facebook connections, who, as I learned recently, went to a seminary and ended up converting to Judaism. I'm not seriously advocating that, but I just thought of her, since you also have a degree in divinity. Maybe instead of religion, the real alternative would be to reach out to internet communities, like facebook, myspace, or some other forums -- just to broaden the number of different connections and listen to different voices.

More than any advice, I'd just want to offer my sympathy. Hang in there.