Letters to the Editor
tabasco
Published Letters: 15
-
Solutions in a Changing World
[Read the article: Should I take my husband's name?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I live in a very liberal area and it is quite commonplace for women to keep their own names. I did, just because it felt really strange after being called X for 30 years to suddenly lose that identity. My husband really doesn't care, I think he might have been a little weirded out if I had taken his name. It seems so old-fashioned.
When my son was born last year we gave him my husband's last name to avoid any hard feelings on the part of my husband's family. I was worried they might not understand. However, we gave him my last name as a middle name to maintain a traceable genealogy and a connection to my family.
I've gotten quite used to be referred to as Mrs. Husband's Last Name by people who don't know that I didn't take his name. I don't really bother to correct them. Ultimately, in our casual, first-name-basis society it doesn't really matter if people occasionally call me by the wrong last name.
I have a young male coworker who got married recently. In a super-modern solution to this problem, he and his wife identified a simple last name that they liked and both changed their names. They are very happy with it.
-
Oh yeah
[Read the article: Should I take my husband's name?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]and any woman (or man) who judges another woman to be a "doormat" for taking her husband's name is a judgemental jerk. Who cares what someone like thinks?
-
The Mommy War is Fake!
[Read the article: The whole "working mother" thing actually works]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Honestly, isn't this "mommy war" purely an invented war? Yes, there are some mothers who are all judgy and think that they can win Motherhood or some sort of nonsense. The rest of us just do what we can with the resources at hand. I work part time and my husband teaches night classes so that we can avoid daycare. This is what worked for us. I can't imagine judging the choices of others based on my own narrow situation and all the mothers I meet don't have the time to worry about what anyone else is doing either. So can we just stop calling this the "mommy wars" and call it what it is really is? That is, conservative groups trying to guilt mothers into staying home while simultaneously being a part of the political party that blocks social programs that might make it possible for more mothers to stay home.
I call a truce to the fake mommy war, let's gather all this energy and attack the true problem.
-
Or maybe when you are 18, you don't know
[Read the article: Quote of the day]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Once, when I was 18, I gave a guy a ride home from the mall. It was raining really hard and when I walked by him on my way in to the mall he was on the payphone calling a friend for a ride. On my way back out of the mall he was still on the phone asking someone else for a ride. When he saw me smile sympathetically, he asked me if I could give him a ride. And I did. He lived a few miles outside of town in a very rural setting. Nothing bad happened to me.
And I guess I was stupid. But I like to think that I was innocent and kind. These days I would never even think of doing that.
It's sad to think that I have lost that innocence. Almost as sad as self-righteous people who feel the need to pontificate about the stupidity of others.
-
Watch out for what you wish for, dude
[Read the article: Quote of the day]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Maybe I'm just weird, but I immediately started thinking about the logistics of this one. Imagine if he got his way, that would be a whole hell of a lot of people to bury. Like billions and billions of people.
-
I'm for the middle ground
[Read the article: Beyond the Multiplex]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I had a lovely experience giving birth in a hospital, attended by a midwife and a bunch of medical students. It was fun, actually, a really good time, lots of lovely women surrounding me and the baby, cheering us on. And yes, I had an epidural. I wouldn't change a thing and I know my husband feels the same way.
That said, wouldn't it be crazy for me to insist that my experience is more valid that others' experiences? Or that everyone should give birth the way I did? I've known quite a few women who have had successful, happy home births and their babies are just fine.
And to the person who criticized women for making the birth experience all about them, I have to say that is a pretty insensitive statement. Shouldn't women endeavor to make birth as pleasant as an experience as possible for themselves?
Why the hell are we even debating this?
-
Umm, yeah,
[Read the article: No more food stamps. You've eaten enough]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]they did just die of starvation.
WTF?
-
Another Perspective
[Read the article: I get grossed out when I hear, "I'm a mom!"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Having just become a mother 14 months ago, I have a slightly different perspective. Maybe, just maybe, when they giggle and say "I'm a Mom" they do it because it sounds a little funny to say that. Because they used to be someone else and now they are a MOM, which is a noun invested with a whole hell of a lot of meaning. I felt it when I became pregnant. Suddenly I was a walking symbol. For some in liberal San Fran I was someone to scowl at because I was ruining the world by bringing another person into it. For some here in wonderful, liberal San Fran I was someone to smile at because of my big fat, pregnant belly with a little human inside it. Mothers are symbols, whether we like it or not. Everyone had a Mother and she makes them nuts sometimes (or all the time). So to be a "Mom" sometimes feels funny.
But also, it takes some getting used to. Even now, 14 months later, when I talk about "my son" I can't believe I have a son! And I mean that in the best, giggliest, happiest way possible. Maybe they are just coming to terms with it all.
I wish you a happy motherhood. It ain't so bad.