After reading your letter and Carey's response I felt the need to chime in. First off, this is a tough letter to respond to - so congrats to Carey.

The main theme of getting in touch with your emotions is what I wanted to echo. There are so many parts to your story that you may never 'figure' it all out - you may on the other hand over time start to realize why some things went the way they did. This will come from reflection and of course getting in touch with your self at a deeper level. This could take years.

For now, you may want to think about what's ahead of you. Do I think getting back together with this woman will be a success or for that matter a good idea? Most likely no.

You've been afforded the opportunity to get in touch with a deeper part of yourself. Something in the 'feeling' realm - something that will lend it self to making you more attentive to yourself and partners in future relationships.

Think of it this way - learning to get in touch with your self is like training a muscle. You can strengthen it through practice. So, where do you start on this one?

I would like to say start paying attention to your feelings. Now since I don't know you, I'm not sure how easy this will be for you. One thing to start with, is to allow your feelings to surface without mental judgement. Do not resist whatever comes up - allow it to come and go - and then, you can reflect on it.

I also want to recommend you a book which may help speed you up along your learning curve. It is titled - 'The Way of the Superior Man' by David Deida. Let me tell you - it may be like learning a new language - but if you do, you will reap the rewards.

I wanted to finish with something a little more light hearted. I was talking with a friend some years back about women, kids and the whole shebang. He humoursly quipped that his future wife was possibly not even born yet. Now this was when we were in our early 20's, but the message I believe still applies to you (and men in general). You are still relatively young with a lot of life ahead of you. Maybe this whole situation is a blessing in disguise. Take this period of reflection and growth at your own pace - life is a journey, not a race.

Cheers and good luck.

You have what is called unrealized losses. What this means is if you sell now you will lose the money. If you hold it - well, it has a chance to go back up and even higher.

Considering you said you have 25 years until retirement, you may want to consider staying invested in some of your holdings.

Also, right now is a good time to invest. This may be a hard thing to hear after seeing your total value drop by thousands, but you are buying at a relative discount.

For example, look into an index linked product for long term. Most indexes have dropped significantly in the last couple months (around 30%).

As well, as jittery as you are - keep in mind that keeping your money under a matress is the last thing you want to do. At the very least put it into a holding that will yeild small but stable returns. A GIC or money market fund would suffice.

The writer of this article is guilty of the very things he claims Gladwell to be guilty of.

Another poster mentioned how the reduction of Air Korea crashes is actually due to them tackling head on the very problems that Gladwell mentions. Reading the book would help you to understand this point. In fact the training that has been responsible for their high levels of current aviation safety were created to combat the cultural tendencies towards lack of speaking up, challenging authority, etc.

But don't take my word for it. Read the book - it includes the transcripts from the last moments of some of these flights. Human errors made the difference.

Take a deep breath.

In regards to your writings:

If it's good - people will like it. If not - it will pass by the wayside without much notice.

People aren't going to come to your door to burn you at the stake if your work sucks.

Sounds like you need some reckless abandon - write like Cary says - just do it and see what happens.

Also in regards to the letter - you sound restless with your life. Possibly a little out of touch with reality. This is something you may want to look into 'curing.'

Never knew this site existed - so thanks for sharing.

Your comment was appreciated :)