Letters to the Editor
Irina99
Published Letters: 76 Editor's Choice: 6
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Give it a chance
[Read the article: I'm wasting my semester abroad watching TV in my apartment]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I did lots of study abroad in college and grad school and I loved every minute of it--but I know some people who really didn't. I don't even think it's a personality thing: sometimes it's luck and circumstances. My junior year in London I was lucky enough to be placed in a dorm with a bunch of British students who are still among my closest friends 20 years later, including my husband, who I met there in that dorm hallway.
Don't listen to those cranks who say study abroad and international adventures are not all they are cracked up to be--they can be terrific, they can be dull, they can be disastrous (bad home stays, illness, homesickness)...but you do have some control over how yours turns out, though, and I confirm the advice given by a few posters to hang out at youth hostels. It's almost impossible NOT to make friends at hostels. Even if they won't be hanging around for months, you'll find people to go explore with--and there are students who do live in hostels for months at a time. Definitely try that. Trust me, at lot of the folks there will be as lonely as you are.
Also, use any vacations, long weekends, etc to travel by yourself, either around the country you are in or to nearby countries. In Europe you're not far from several different countries at any one time. Take your passport, buy an Interail Pass and go go go--if you're short on cash, sleep on trains, stay in hostels, and don't eat in restaurants. Traveling solo is way more fun than staying in one place alone.
It's only been a month and it will likely get better, but you do have to meet people or things won't change. Since it's only a semester, try to stick it out. If you can, tack on some travel at the end before you come home, it'll give you something to look forward to.
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A little tired of these kinds of stories
[Read the article: Welcome to the nuthouse]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Fascinating response letters this time to the usual "watch out motherhood isn't what you think" trope. They are certainly better than the weird stream-of-consciousness whine that makes up this article.
Guess what nanananana I had a GREAT time with my first baby, I loved (almost) every minute of being a new mother, it was fun, special and I enjoyed my time with my new dolly, fulfilling my biological imperative and all that jazz. It wasn't terribly difficult, or trying, or frightening. It was exciting and I loved it so much I had two more. (And no I never had a nanny.)
I know I'm a total over-breeder in today's crowded world and I think it's great that lots of people are choosing to be childless, which helps balance out us selfish breeders (yes, I do cop to being selfish, certainly on a consumption level, although we live in a city, use only public transport, do not own a car to make up for some of it). It's also great that people are beginning to come to terms with the fact that nobody HAS to have kids, and that you only should if you really want to.
Anyhow, I read this essay with interest, immediately assuming that this new mother has post-partum depression because if she doesn't she has some serious coping problems. Babies cry. They can be annoying. They can interfere with your "me time." Just wait til they get to 1 and 2 years old, it only gets harder. Enjoy!
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Sayonara Kansas!
[Read the article: Kansas O'Flaherty ... Secret Agent]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I will not miss the strip and I won't even bother kicking it when it's down (it sucked it sucked it sucked) but, actually, I would be genuinely interested in hearing about what the strip's creators have to say about their endeavor. I'd like to know what their goals and vision for the strip were, how they came up with the idea, their process, and how they are dealing with their failure. And I'm not just being a bitch--I've failed at some endeavors that were important to me and I am interested in hearing how others deal with rejection of this type. Also, I'm really intersted in finding out what they thought they were doing, what we didn't "get", etc.
I'm serious! Come on, Schlesinger and Bachtell, an essay on this topic would be really interesting, at least to me.
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Please don't give up the dream, just remodel it
[Read the article: I need a new dream]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I agree that the LW needs to mourn the loss of that particular dream but then I really think they should seriously reconsider adoption. I have a friend who just went through exactly the same things--and is now in the process of adopting an infant, and she is over the moon about it.
My advice to the LW is mourn this "loss" but don't give up. If you really do have the drive to be a parent, please keep in mind that there are millions of children in this world (in the US and abroad) who don't have homes and families. And I don't mean just "perfect" infants, there are older children, or kids who are sick or disabled or just not perfect and their birth parents couldn't care for them. Maybe your biological desire can be turned to an even higher purpose than reproducing yourself: taking an already existing person who has nothing and bringing him or her into your heart.
I've had my "own" biological children and yes, it is a rewarding, wonderful experience. But I wouldn't hesitate to adopt if I couldn't have had them, and we still consider, when we can afford it, adopting a child into our family a possibility. I really hope we can some day.