There needs to be a large study to determine whether we're looking at a stay at home trend among elite women. Otherwise, we're just going on a bunch of anecdotes. But here's my adecdotal small change anyway: having myself had only a part-time career after my kids were born, I can say that my stay at home years were mostly a waste of time. It would have been better for me to be out there improving my skills and making good money. We were always short of cash. Inadequate housing and lack of recreational opportunities made home life narrow and boring for both my daughters and me. How this situation could be considered superior to good care outside the home beats me.

Moving up to the present:my granddaughter does fine now in an excellent pre-school. She loved day care, too, when she was younger. I find her far advanced in every way over my daughter at the same age. I would add that my daughter's company gives generous maternity leave, and she was not penalized for the time she took off when her daughter was born. She continues to climb the career ladder and get those stock options and bonuses.

I am so proud that she is successful in her career, makes good money, and is a good provider.

Dowd's book certainly struck a nerve. I don't quite know why. I think Traister is not being lazy when she looks at Amazon reviews. I have never seen a book get so many negative reviews, which makes me wonder if there is not a concerted attempt to bring Dowd down, yes, a conspiracy even. Dowd's column about Judith Miller leads right to speculations about White House goons. She was on Al Franken's show. She's liberal.

Just saying.

My some of the men here seem angry. Wonder why. What is it that we women can do to make them happier? After all, isn't that our mission on earth?

There are these wonderful sex dolls for men.There is even an article in Salon about them. They are lovely, though rather passive, and they never gain weight or get knocked up. Men,you can get one of these babes in the color and style of your choice for only a few thousand dollars and avoid demanding and possibly skanky females. You can always eat out, and there are laundromats, so who needs a woman? And ladies, there are so many wonderful vibrators out there, just waiting for you to turn them on. Maybe some day you can get big anatomically correct Ken bots to pleasure you, too, that would never drop their underwear on the floor, refuse to help with housework, stay out all night, or knock you up.

With sex and reproduction perceived as such horrible problems, aren't bots the solution?

I like Mr. Fuckoff who says he's disgusted with women and will avoid them. Women do get a break now and then.

Are you all taking some drug or something which causes you to be devoid of a sense of humor? What a joyless bunch you are: no joy in sex, no joy in relationships, no joy in kids, just the joy of blaming the other sex for your miserable rotten lives.

Thanks to Katha Pollitt for raising the tone of this discussion. I am inspired to look into the situation where I live and see how I can help.

Heard this one?

A. You know how you feel when you have PMS?

B. Yes.

A. That's the way men feel ALL the time.

Ayelett Waldman offers a good perspective on the fat issue.

Here's another one:

http://www3.iath.virginia.edu/pmc/text-only/issue.995/pop-cult.995

Recently at a meeting a thin friend of mine piped up with the news that Canada is considering not giving medical care to fat people if they refuse to diet. The fat woman sitting next to her certainly enjoyed hearing that! But she was sufficiently cowed not to say anything about being so rudely attacked. Like my friend was sitting next to this gal, thinking, "Boy she's fat. I'm so glad I'm thin and therefore morally correct, not a slob like her."

Fat women put up with a lot of casual insults like that. So I'm surprised to hear skinny women say they get insulted for being skinny. And my experience is that no matter how hag-ridden and flabby a woman who has lost weight looks, she will receive praise and will be bombared with "How did you do it?" questions.

I feel sorry for cadaverous women, but I figure they have chosen their fate. And I hear those who say they can't help the way they're built. But I must say that I know more than a few thin women who confuse their body type with moral virtue.

I'm lucky to have a female shape, and I'm not going to diet away my breasts and hips to conform to the fashions of the day. I get insulted by thin people too, even though my weight and build are far from putting me in the "fat" category. It's oh yes you do this and that and isn't fine, but you ARE overweight. This last insult was delivered to me by a stick figure of a man who lives on candy. My wonderful husband looked puzzled and said, "Are you overweight?" Ha!

And I don't know what planet Anon inhabits, but women talk about little else but diets and losing/gaining weight, as far as my experience goes. I wager he's a man that women don't want to talk to!