Everybody here has given wonderful advice. Now, to concentrate on the practical side, sum up what everybody has said (and add some ideas of mine), you should:

- Get therapy,

- Do martial arts,

- Cut or cut back contact with your parents,

(I know somebody who said calmly to his mother that he would stop speaking to her for two years: he wrote postcards regularly to say he was alive and well. He just explained her the truth: that his childhood had been very hard on him, that he needed some time alone to heal, and that it didn't mean he didn't love her. Of course she was hurt, and mad. But he did it anyway, and now they have a much healthier relationship.),

I'll add:

- travel, if possible with a group and in a way that exerts you physically: for example, hiking in the mountains twice a year, with people from a sports club or something, people that you will get to know,

- add to your routine a hobby or an activity that connects you with people and force you to be a little extraverted: do some amateur plays, help with a charity, learn how to sing...

Now, can you do add all this and therapy to your life? Of course you can! Some people do a lot more.

I think it would be a mistake to do "just" therapy. Sports and/or martial arts will do wonders for your self-control, your self-esteem (and will be a great exutory for your anger).

Travelling and meeting people will help you to get a new perspective on life, to forget your problems in the wonder of other places, other people, other skies... soon your parents will appear as they are, insignificant. And you will have a full social life as a result, too! :)

When I was sixteen (and seventeen, and eighteen, and nineteen) I was exactly like the young woman you are describing, and for almost the same reasons. My family was rich, but my father was absent and my mother absent and cold (which was worse).

I had a driver to drive me to school, a horde of nannies to prepare everything I needed. I drowned myself in science-fiction and fantasy, I has almost no friends, I didn't know how to do anything practical, I would have used the dirty towel without a second thought and I certainly wouldn't have known how to get my hair cut.

I was spoiled, but I don't think it was my main characteristic: my main characteristic was that (for many reasons) I didn't adapt to the practical world. And because I knew I was not adapted, and I felt the spite or the exasperation of everybody around, I withdrew each day further in my own little world.

Twenty-two years later: I am a divorced mother of two happy, beautiful and very practical kids, who are very social and have many friends. I left my parents home and struggled financially for years, but now, I am a professional and rather successful fantasy and sci-fi writer (in France) (I'm French). I am not the most practical of persons, but I have a full and rich life, I am very happy... and I have an excellent hairdresser. :)

I adapted, and I used my inner life to my advantage. I made my inner life my work, and in my job, if you are a little un-practical, people say: oh, that's ok, she's a writer, after all. (Well played, right?)

There is a point to this story. Well, many points.

1- People adapt. If her attitude is the result of her education and not a mental problem (and from what I read, I don’t see any), she will get better. Maybe not in her father’s home, but later, when she is on her own.

2- You are exasperated by her, which is perfectly normal. You think she is spoiled and doesn’t try to change… and you are right. But she feels your exasperation – she has to – and it makes her feel even more clumsy, even more inadapted. If she feels your anger, your worries, she will withdraw even more.

3- The fact that she is completely introverted (for now) is not a bad thing. She is creating who knows what (worlds ? stories? Images?) in her mind. There are a lot of jobs (publishing, communication, marketing, and all the creative fields – books, movies, videogames….) where she will be able to use whatever she is dreaming right now.

So, what to do?

Well… love her. Be her friend. Do not be her mother or stepmother – anyway, you don’t want that.

Imagine that you are her roommate and best friend. What would you do then, for her own good? How would you help her? You would (one) make her feel good about herself, (two) laugh with her of her own mistakes and quirks, so she can feel that they are not that big a deal, and (three) help her to become more autonomous by not doing her laundry (etc) for her. The best thing is to help her, step by step, to establish routines… but it will take time, she will never be good at it, and you have to never, never forget that it is NOT a big deal.

If her laundry is not done… well, her laundry is not done. If her towels are dirty… her towels are dirty. Never dramatize, laugh about it, laugh with her (not at her), do not do the chores for her, but propose to do them with her, to help. Do not get mad, do not get exasperated (if you can!), do not order her around, accept her as she is, love her as she is, and slowly, she will blossom.

Then, do whatever you can to help her get her independence as soon as possible (in two or three years, maybe?).

When she will be thrown in cold water, she will swim. :)