Letters to the Editor
melew1
Published Letters: 94 Editor's Choice: 5
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I've grown.....
[Read the article: The divine sound of silence]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]to be begrudgingly tolerant of the constant bombardment & assault to my senses I get on a daily basis in many different types & forms of environments, whether it be in retail shopping situations or in restaurants. It's just an inescapable fact of life anymore, so I just roll with the flow, the punches, & do my best just to mentally tune out whatever obnoxious forms of music I find myself loathing & be content with it. I don't let it ruin my day. When in my home or car, I listen to my favorite, wonderful non-commercial publicly supported radio station which features new & old artists, many of whom I either bought their cd's recently or vinyl recordings 45 years ago. My taste, my home, my car. I do love my music, & my taste is my own.
However--for at least 1/3 out of the year--I shut it all off. TV, music, radio, cd's, all of it. There is nothing more beautiful, spiritual, or pleasing to my ear than listening to the cacaphony of birds doing their mating ritual calling in the earliest dawn of spring, some of it continuing in the summer; & the chirps & hoots crickets, migrating geese & ducks, owls & the mating calls of wild turkeys in the fall. To me it's heavenly & personal, along with the occasional silent hesitations that is a reasonable component of it all.
I sympathize with the urbanites who take all this nature stuff for granted, because they truly do not know what they are missing. Not only is silence golden, the noise of nature can be as well.
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@anonymous 1:44
[Read the article: If the first date isn't great, why go out with him again? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I agree with you, too. I've been shy, introverted & self concious most of my life, & hated the dating game for the better part of my adulthood because of all the expectations & pressures it entailed. Basically, I was very picky then, still am, & my instinctual trust in men never came easily. The walls I surrounded myself with were for my protection due to my shyness, & the pressures I put upon myself to relax & have a good time on dates was always overshadowed by the eventual sex they expected soon afterward. It became just too exhausting, waiting for that spark that would probably never materialize. I'd eventually do the polite thing & explain to them I was more interested in friendships rather than immediate romance, & they could either be ok with it & continue to date me or move on. Well, I got dumped every time. I finally stopped dating altogether & never looked back, never really missed it, but......
Several years ago, I met a guy who popped into my workplace for most of the day (he lives very far). The spark I felt for him was immediate, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same for me. After chasing him for a year, this also shy guy eventually contacted me, told me he felt the same, & we've been together ever since albiet through many e-mails & wonderful phone conversations. We've become not only the best of friends, we feel a deep connection, genuine affection & respect for each other as well. He's visiting in the spring, I can hardly wait--but we're realistic enough to know that perhaps things might be different once we're face to face.
If someone would have told me years ago they believed in love at first sight I would have laughed in their face, because silly things like that NEVER happen. It DOES. And, I believe, for me personally--worth the wait.
So, LW, I think you're doing the right thing--sparks can happen at ANY age--& I'm much older than you. Focus on your kids & work, continue your path because it can quite a journey, but most of all, be patient & trust your instincts. I wish you luck.
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Just to add to my previous comment
[Read the article: If the first date isn't great, why go out with him again? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Before I met that guy at my workplace, I had no previous criterion of what I expected to find in a man, & because I'd been out of the dating loop for so long, I had no idea of what "type" to look for. I wasn't able to define anything specific, & because I'd long since stopped intentionally looking, I really didn't know what my "type" actually was. Of course, when he fell into my lap unexpectedly, I was attracted to him initially physically not because he was drop dead gorgeous--he wasn't--but because he had a very different, interesting unkempt look--something that surprised even myself. Plus that intangeble, "special something" that was undefinable, magical. Aside from his sweet, gentle nature, I found him to be utterly fascinating & incredibly sexy.
If you have any precise definition in your mind as to what specific "type" you're looking for, LW, I'd throw any preconceptions out the window, because you may never find anyone that fits into your mold & you'll just end up setting yourself up for dissappointment. By keeping an open mind, sometimes when we least expect it, something unconventional comes along that we can't afford to miss.