Letters to the Editor
melew1
Published Letters: 94 Editor's Choice: 5
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Yes, you can learn to let go
[Read the article: My neighbor is having coffee with somebody new]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If you try not to let resentment get in the way after you've been hurt. Trust is a hard thing to attain from someone else after your faith has been breached. Truth is, there's alot of ego interaction going on--& it can get pretty complicated between friends, or however we percieve a friendship is SUPPOSED to be. We can allow ourselves to be manipulated, for whatever purpose that lies in the mind of a percieved "friend." True friends don't do this, because there's a genuine quality involved within that friendship. You can beat yourself over the head wondering "if only I had more insight into this person to not have wasted my time with her" through a negative experience, or you can also learn to indentify personality traits that in your gut tells you something isn't quite right. Then you have to nip it in the bud early. By giving egocentric people the constant benefit of the doubt or the upper hand, we leave ourselves vulnerable to betrayal & hurt, & it isn't worth the time or energy. Maybe your friend will come around to you again, or maybe not--but if not, then don't beat yourself. Because hopefully by then, you'll have learned that she was never really sincere to start with.
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These FEEL like threats
[Read the article: My boss forwards fluffy kitten e-mails!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Scavok, your words basically reiterated an e-mail I sent to my cousin a few days ago. After the umpteenth time of recieving an "inspirational, positive" message not just from her but from a zillion other people, I finally lost it, & wanted my feelings to be known that I was annoyed & irritated. Unfortunately, she just happened to be a convenient target, someone I sincerely care about, & my intent was NOT attack her personally. I simply reached the final straw & needed an outlet to universally express my frustration. Why some seemingly intelligent, reasonable people send these idiotic things is beyond me.
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I'm in my 50's
[Read the article: I can't stand losing my beauty as I age!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]& liking it MUCH more than my 20's. Back then, I was full of the ususal insecurities & self doubts, like I suppose alot of us were, & it took a mental & physical toll. Since I was so obsessed with fretting about my looks rather than cultivating a sense of self-awareness or inner beauty, the expenditure of that wasted energy eventually made me feel OLD. At 26, I actually thought I was over the hill. 30 seemed like a death sentence, not to mention 40. I agree with what alot other posters have said, & I don't have much else to add, except for one thing.
To quote an old line from a Bob Dylan tune:
"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." SO true. Didn't understand what those words meant way back then, but I do now, & it's pretty liberating. You start to grasp the meaning of acceptance, & once you do that, what else have you got to lose. I may never look or feel as good as I did in my 20's & I may be moving closer to eventual demise, but I'm a hell of alot happier now because I have an inner SPIRITUAL awareness. And when I'm told by the occasional old friend that I'm looking even more physically attractive now than I did then, well, that's just icing on the cake.
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What a deplorable situation
[Read the article: My wife keeps cheating but we have two kids. Should I leave her?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]For the KIDS. The 2 of you need to separate, take some deep breaths, check your egos at the door, & get a reality check. LW, you accomplish NOTHING by exacting revenge against your spouse. You already know she's a liar & a cheat, & your childish conduct only continues to fuel the anguish your kids must be experiencing right now. Believe me, they're not blind to the bitterness & rage they sense between 2 vengeful parents. Things will only escalate & get worse over time.
Tell her to leave. NOW. Do what Cary suggests & look for a decent therapist, because your kids will need at least 1 rational parent to provide them with some emotional stability for their future.
I've witnessed similar circumstances between married friends over the course of many years, including the destruction of my own parents marriage.... & it ain't pretty.
I'm sorry for the anguish you must be going through, but you need to step up to the plate for your children. I'm thinking you probably know this already, otherwise you wouldn't have reached out to Cary. Follow his advice & most importantly, trust in your heart that you can do the right thing. Take care of them, & take care of YOU. Good luck.
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reread your letter..........
[Read the article: My wife keeps cheating but we have two kids. Should I leave her?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]..& something jumped off the page. LW, you stated that you & your wife were competitive in your respective careers in that you both keep striving for more. Well, more is exactly what what you both will be getting here, now you've both degenerated into the infidelity arena. Like having 2 kids, successful careers, money & whatever prestige all that it entails is not enough, you now need to out cheat, out lie, & out hurt each other, too. Bad as this is, it would not have been so deplorable had you not brought 2 children into this world. But your selfish egos dictated that instant gratification was more important, collateral damage be damned.
Yes, be prepared for "more," because nothing good ever comes out of purely ego-driven situations such as this. I hope your kids do not require a lifetime of therapy later, but I fear that is foregone conclusion. Not to mention the potential of possible drug/and or alcohol abuse to help ease their pain as they grow older. God help them.
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Bikini Turkey
[Read the article: Happy Thanksgiving from Broadsheet]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Christ, someone sent that to me a month ago, & I thought it was very clever & cute as heck. I forwarded it on to my dad's (very progressive, feminist) wife, & she loved it, too! Now we both want to try it out, not to mention every gal pal I sent it to. I like the parsley idea suggested by a few folks here but I think some strategically sprinkled poppy seeds would really create a goofy buzz.