Letters to the Editor
melew1
Published Letters: 123 Editor's Choice: 6
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don't kid yourself
[Read the article: My boyfriend's a secret crackhead!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Addicts & alcoholics are extremely good actors & manipulaters, they know how to lie themselves out of any given situation if it suits them to their best advantage. If their only priority in life is getting high, they will go to any lengths to do it until they either bottom out or die. They are not capable of rational thought, empathy, or honesty, even at times when it seems they MIGHT be...because they are strictly opportunists looking out for themselves. So here you are, LW, confused, hurt & shocked, as you sit on your fence, wondering what your next move should be.
You are being manipulated to the max. I know how hard you try to rationalize in your mind that things can't possibly be all that bad, he tells you he only smokes crack once a week. You believe in what he says because you care about him, & hold out hope that he's telling you the truth. AND DENIAL IS JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT.
Hard reality check: He's only telling you what he wants you to hear, because the disease of addiction is a very selfish one, its powerful grip rending one's soul while leaving collateral debris in its wake & not caring a whit about who gets dragged into hell along the way. Please don't continue to fool yourself. He truly doesn't give a damn about you or anyone else right now, & until he becomes brutally honest with HIMSELF, you need to think about doing the right thing by getting out. For YOU. NOW.
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psmat
[Read the article: I'm acting like a monster so my friends are deserting me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You're right, it CAN happen at any age. I recently ended a friendship with a lonely woman who was much older than me, & I'm in my mid 50's. When the constant calling & manipulative tactics ground me down to a bloody stump, I ceased contact. When the nasty, bullying emails ensued, my mind was made up to never speak to her again. As hard as it was, I knew it was more about the importance of saving my sanity rather than trying to figure out how to mend a hopeless, toxic relationship. As someone with alot of patience like myself, it was the best decision I could have made because I realized that we all need a means to protect ourselves from people who are so controlling & unpredictable.
People don't like the stress of dealing with emotional drama nor do they like being manipulated by so called "friends," so you have to figure out what you can do to change yourself before you end up being all alone. Do your contacts precieve you as being "all about you"? Do you talk mostly about yourself during normal conversation? Are you quick to judge & criticize others? I think there is more that you're not revealing that puts your mood into monster mode if things don't go your way. Maybe spending some alone time will give you an opportunity to gain some insight into your motivations & inner workings, you need time to reflect & assess what it is about you that people are turned off by & hopefully try to correct them. You seem to have some clarity of concience by addressing your problem to Cary (something a true narcissistic sociopath does not), so don't feel like it's hopeless in trying to figure it all out for yourself. You've hit an emotional rock bottom, the only way now is up.
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anon5:42
[Read the article: MSNBC's Shuster returns from suspension]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I know this is off-topic, but are you from the southwest Pennsylvania area? Because I always thought the term 'jagoff' was strictly Pittsburghese for asshole.
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spaces
[Read the article: I'm a condo parking-spot hoarder!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW, I also live in a condo complex with a similar situation to yours where people are assigned 2 parking spaces, & it can be a frustating, ongoing problem. You have to be very firm in telling your neighbors that you do not want anyone parking in your space without getting your permission first under any circumstances. Period. Those are the rules. No silly plants, no notes on the windsheild, & no ifs ands or buts. Go knock on their door & just tell them how you feel. It's your space & you own it. Neighbors can be very inconsiderate at times, & some find it very easy to be oppportunists when it suits their needs by taking advantage of people they sense to be a pushover. You've been nice & accomodating in the past, & now it's not working. Now you just have to be forceful, adamant, & direct, & if you have to get rude about it, then do so, because sometimes that's the only language certain people understand. If they still don't get the crux of your point, then talk to your HOA & explain your problem to them. That usually helps, since the threat of a fine should be motivation enough for them to stop their inconsiderate behavior. Best of luck.