Okay, I'm going to throw up.

First, those who want to send others to war, and who believe in war, should be willing to go to war (regardless of gender, and this is one of the best arguments for women in combat). The chickenhawks are disgusting.

Second, who thinks that "buying companionship" is in any way equivalent to friendship and love with another person (friend, lover or spouse) who CHOOSES to be with you and loves being with you and who is delighted by you even if you are not perfect?

I think most PEOPLE like a clean house.....no one likes doing the WORK to make a house clean....

My father was a man who believed in his family. He supported us for many years (until my mother also went back to work when I was a teenager). He also paid bills, and did yard work, gardening, maintenance work, and other work traditionally associated with male roles in the 1950s.

My mother lived up to her prescribed role by cleaning, cooking, and dealing with the logistics of family life. They were partners. My father was also a baseball commissioner, a scout leader, and was present at all his children's events. My mother was chair of the PTA.....

My father told me that he made sacrifices to do all these things..and I know that my mother did also...

They both were very happy, despite the sacrifices. My father didn't feel he was being cheated or exploited. He loved his children. He loved his wife dearly...he liked being with her, and he spent his retirement with her happily traveling the country. He didn't feel cheated because he couldn't cheat on his wife.

My parents were married for 46 years, and they were very happy.

They both reared their children, and my father would have been highly insulted had anyone implied that he was not involved with or interested in the rearing of his children in equal measure with my mother.

These days what role each parent plays in the family and in a relationship isn't dictated by gender. Parents can divide up tasks based on ability and preference.

I'm afraid I'm with the folks who feel that perhaps you might want to get some help with your anxiety. Waking up EVERY night with an anxiety attack about your son is not normal. Find a good therapist, or someone who can spend time reassuring you.

There's times that I'm a real crank with my kids. Luckily, I have a spouse who is much more even keeled and we balance out.

Listen to the person who posted about having a sense of humor (yes, I am an incredible evil mother who spins spells to haunt her poor innocent children), or just smile and say "yes, dear" to the epithet..You're a Mean Mom. If they start getting nasty, or you're in a bad mood, tell them you expect courtesy and come up with a consequence.

I would have carried the book - what's the big deal? I'm not clear about the problem about bouncing the ball...but if it's a safety issue, tell him no. End of sentence.

Relax! Get some reassurance. Forget about your son getting into an Ivy League School. Focus on him being healthy and happy.

Susan