Go to the nearest medical school library. Head for the dermatology picture-book section. Look in the index under "bed bugs". Turn to the appropriate page.

Now do you still want a used mattress?

Both of these most commonly known forms of the undead are Republican.

Vampires comprise 1% of the undead. They are an elite few which survive by sucking the life force out of humans, generally with the consent of the human involved (albeit in a hypnotic state), in some cases transforming them into vampires but more commonly leaving them as dried carcasses once their blood is fully drained. Vampires are driven to become more powerful, which they achieve by consumption of living beings. Humans can only kill a vampire through skill, cunning, and remarkable bravery.

Zombies comprise 99% of the undead. They are walking corpses who have lost all drives other than the need to eat the flesh of living humans. They prefer living brains, but also love small intestines because they are stretchy and full of crap. If they could vote, they would vote for vampires, because they imagine themselves to be vampires too someday. In fact they are sure of it, because they heard it on Fox News. Humans of ordinary intelligence and strength can kill zombies with pretty much any object bigger than a fork.

But anything that gets such a visceral rejection as in this review perhaps deserves a look. That is the very nature of the horror genre -- it's rarely designed for the classy movie goer.

The trigger is on a loaded gun pointed at the Democratic party. Since the Democratic party controls the health care agenda without need of Republican support, they are playing Russian Roulette with themselves. This is indeed Obama's Waterloo.

What in the long list of accomplishments of that duo suggests they made you safer? TSA made flying safer the way that FEMA restored New Orleans.

The forces of inertia are having their say, and after that we will have a health care bill. It will include a Medicare-like option for all, or if it does not, Harry Reid will lose his job. I bet he plans to keep his job.

Damned good. A fine punkified embellishment to one of the greatest pop tunes of the psychedelic era. I saw Husker Du in NYC circa 1988, they played this as an encore as I remember. Between Husker Du and The Replacements, Minneapolis really had it going in the 80s. Not to mention Prince.

It's the air in the terminal that could kill you. Especially in an overcrowded dive like Miami or LAX.

Why would the maker of Frosted Flakes want to offend marijuana users? Don't they know who is eating all that junk cereal?

So many bad airports for so many different reasons.

My home airport, San Jose, CA always seems to be under major reconstruction, a phase of which generally ends whenever a huge recession bankrupts a half dozen carriers. The access roads loop and curl, cross and split in a layout designed to make arrivals miss their turns and have to lap the entire terminal area to retry their approach, slowing progress for other arrivals. Post 9/11 the security gates were placed so close to the building entries that there is literally no place to stand and wait to meet an arriving passenger without blocking the concourse. If you are a cleared passenger yourself and have an hour to kill I hope you like Burger King or Cinnabon. And you'll be sitting on your suitcase while you eat it.

In Miami I always check myself for lice after visiting, especially if I sit on anything.

Of course nothing is a worse hell than Atlanta. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.

1. Dexter, again.

2. True Blood.

Especially True Blood, which redefined the vampire genre in politically correct America. Brilliant, and fun. If you missed it because you heard it was about vampires and now you are dissing HBO since the "great" acting is gone (Six Feet Under, for example), you really missed out.

I was initially in denial about the Prop 8 outcome, expecting that when the provisionals and absentees were all counted it would surely work out right. Those precincts tallied by pro-8 election workers would have their "inconsistencies" resolved, you know how it usually works. They cheat, we find out, they lose.

Then reality set in and I went into anger mode. My many gay friends are mostly beyond anger by now, but I am still there. I have a deep burning resentment of the people who brought this hateful proposition upon us, and paid for the ad campaign, and circulated the dishonest robocalls that implied Barack Obama supported Prop 8. He opposed it, as did our Republican governor.

I will not Mention that particular religious denoMination by naMe. But they are latter day losers, I am certain, and on the wrong side of history in the long run. They should stay in their own state and mind their wives.

The next stage in the movement towards equality for all Californians is unclear, but it will be energized by the anger our people feel about out-of-state religious organizations messing with us.