Did she do freaky things to you with the various pieces of fruit she wore on her head?

You know depending on how she manipulated some of that fruit, you could quite easily be labeled a sexual deviant. And from there it's only one small step to becoming gay. At least that's how the know-nothings from yesterday's thread seemed to conceive of what it is to be gay. And if there's one person you can trust less than a Muslim in your foxhole, it's a gay person or Carmen Miranda. I'm not sure how you survived the Spanish American War. That must have been a real doozy.

Can I get an Amen brother Joe?

Puuuuuuuururrrrrrrrrr. She's kinda famous too. That's how we got Miranda rights.

Old Joe's not a commie traitor, he's an Al Quada hater and Israeli empathizer. He loves America and is undecided on the moral merits and utility of torture in special circumstances.

On the weekends he makes sweet love to the Mrs. and then mows the grass and rakes the leaves (or maybe that's the same thing when you get old) in his boxers, black old man dress socks, and loafers.

Then he settles in for a little siesta on the couch while his wife prepares his evening meal.

Old school American marital bliss. I'm kinda jealous.

Quit picking on Old Joe . . . he's my beeyawtch. If anybody gets the privilege of changing his diaper in public it's me.

Besides I kinda got a soft spot for the old crazy coot. Every once in awhile when he snaps into a state of lucidity between episodes of dementia, he actually is a fairly decent human being.

Besides he probably tells really funny Spanish American War stories about how he stormed the beaches of Cuba as a Marine. Which of course would make him like 141 years old or something but hey I like to listen to him spin his cantankerous old fella yarns from yesteryear.

He's like a living part of history. I bet his secret to longevity was bacon, bourban, and beer in equal parts. I'm convinced that's how I'm going to live to be like 94.

If our American love is a battlefield (h/t Pat Benetar), oops I mean if the "world is our battlefield" then all the world's people are either "willing combatants" or "unwitting potential collateral damage".

How fortunate for the world's populace that they get the choice between being our enemy or our drone fodder.

That's the way to win hearts and minds. Fer sure.