Truly amazing! If there were 10 men in a room and 9 of them were upstanding, honest and reliable, with the 10th one being a low-life lying thieving scumbag, guess which one you'd pick? The 10th one of course.

You don't say anywhere that you figured out how you got involved with the abusive husband and what insights you gained after the divorce to figure out why you picked him in the first place. That's right, YOU PICKED THE ABUSIVE HUSBAND, for whatever reason, and now you are picking someone who has told you already that he is a thief who steals from his family. Incapacitated family at that. And you stop him from telling you the other things he's done? Why? So you can maintain your delusion that he is something that he's not?

Most successful con artists are charming and initially kind-acting, generous, etc. THEY HAVE TO BE in order to draw you in.

If you are honest with yourself, you can look back and see that your abusive husband gave off warning signs about how he was. You may have been naive or more likely incapable of believing how evil some people can be, but nevertheless the signs were there.

The signs are here too, and this time you have no excuse.

Read the fable of the scorpion and the frog (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog) and get away from this person as fast as you can!

I am truly sorry you think that my telling you you picked your husband makes me an asshat. I, like many other posters here, have done exactly what you have done and are doing now.

Instead of being brutally honest with yourself, you would rather call me names because I am not sympathetic to the current situation you seem determined to stay in DESPITE your past experience and current intuition.

You DID pick your husband. That is very different from saying you were asking to be abused. If this is how you interpret what I wrote, you are not yet ready for a serious relationship.

You picked a person who was ultimately very wrong for you and damned if you aren't doing the same thing again. You do not need sympathy. You need cold water thrown on your face to WAKE THE F___ UP!!

BEENTOTHEFARSIDE is not a screen name I picked randomly.

And telling you want you want to hear is not what you need.

You already know this man is wrong for you, and as another poster said, if this were your daughter or a best friend telling you this you would have no trouble seeing the reality.

Joan, since you and most of the other pundits seem to forget that there are more than just the annointed three running for the Democratic nomination, I will post Dennis Kucinich's comments on Bhutto's assassination. It's really disgusting the way the only honest candidate on the Democratic side is perennially ignored. Salon should be ashamed.

MANCHESTER, NH - Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich issued the following statement this morning after hearing the news of the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto:

"This is a very dangerous moment for the world. Prime Minister Bhutto represented the forces of reform and the hope for an end to repression in a troubled region, and her death is a major loss to those efforts."

"This terrible tragedy also underscores the need for the United States to adopt a new foreign policy toward the entire region because our current policy is all wrong. Our interference in the internal affairs of Pakistan has opened wide the doors of repression and violence. At this very moment, we should be working with leaders of the region to convene a meeting at the highest levels to begin a new effort towards stabilization and peace."

"The United States must take a new direction in Pakistan and throughout the region. I met her several times, both in Washington and New York. She was deeply and genuinely dedicated to Pakistan. This is a tragic loss."

I've got news for you. You're as legally liable as your husband because you are married to him, unless this is a corporation. And because you have two other jobs, you are the one the authorities will come after if they need to collect money for unpaid taxes, etc.

About your first marriage, I don't know why you think you were responsible for the band falling apart or for your first husband's addictions. Get over yourself on that. You are no more responsible for your adult first husband's actions than you are for this one's.

It is imperative, as Cary said, that you get legal counsel for extricating yourself as much as possible from this financial morass. Your husband doesn't give a damn about you or your children (if I go only by what you have written), and will drag you into bankruptcy, blaming you all the way.

And though you may not realize it yet, it sounds as if your marriage is already over. The only issue is how much drama and trauma you are going to subject your children to before you leave.