This is just amazing. The first few posters apparently think women have some special nurturing ability built into their DNA and men aren’t capable of stepping up to the plate to be the primary caregiver.

The father is perfectly capable of doing anything the mother does except nurse and give birth, but society and many mothers don’t support that concept.

I personally know of many men who are the primary caregivers, single parents and married, and they do a great job. Their children are fine, and these fathers can even multitask, because they HAVE to.

And the husband of the LW certainly DOES know about fatherhood, as he has been with this woman’s twins since they were six years old. I see nothing wrong with Cary’s advice if LW’s husband goes along with it. After all, this is what the arrangement has been for generations with families, only with roles reversed.

I do have to wonder, though, why LW allowed herself to get pregnant if she was really that adamant about no more children. She knew her husband had no biological children but wanted them. There is not very good communication going on in this marriage, despite what she says, and she has really backed herself into a corner. She needs some individual emergency counseling to figure out what she needs to do, or the issue will take care of itself in a few months.

Funny, as I watched the performers I remarked on how Jordin can't move and sing at the same time, but Melinda gets VERY involved with the song AND her musicians and vocal backup singers.

If I just had to listen to the singers and had never seen any of them in video, Melinda is hands down superior to everyone in that competition.

For the first time Cary has written a reply that gets to the point and covers each issue, with very good advice, I might add.

No meandering, musings or other mental masturbations, just the facts.

In the future, LW, try not to feel obligated to answer the phone caller just because they called you. I used to think that if someone asked me for information or advice that I had to give it, however inappropriate it may have been of the person to ask or of me to answer. I got over that.

The voters actually don't do a good job, as the also-rans have generally done better than the winners commercially.

And as for Melinda not being charismatic-- give me a break! She interacts with the musicians, the back-up singers and the audience. Jordin, bless her heart, can barely walk and sing at the same time in addition to being flat on the high notes, and has such an immature voice that she could never last on tour. The recording studio maybe, with lots of breaks to rest her voice.

Blake is entertainging, but not unique.

I would buy a CD of Melinda singing, but if you take away the visual of Jordin and Blake, there's no there there-- at least not yet.

I keep hearing the other responders say "join the Peace Corps." Please don't. First of all, at this point you have very little to offer the Peace Corps. Second, that won't really help you out of your dilemma, which is mental paralysis at the prospect of growing up and having to choose your life’s work.

Have you heard of career counseling? All universities and colleges have this, and it's just for cases like yours.

If you want to pursue architecture, DO IT!! If you want to major in English, DO IT!! Enterprising English majors don't just teach. They are technical writers, journalists, novelists, grant writers, etc. And the job you start out in will rarely be your ultimate career.

Higher education is just that. To become educated, not necessarily to train specifically for a particular job. It is important, however, that you realize that certain professions will never afford you financial independence, which you parents know all too well is very important.

The best advice is to find something you love, and from there figure out how to make money at it. Not the other way around.