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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
Beentothefarside
Published Letters: 51 Editor's Choice: 9
I glossed over this article and then read the letters. Needless to say, I had to go back and reread the article. It was not whiny or self-absorbed, and was, in fact very funny. The letter writers here have said an anormous amount about themselves in the responses I've read.
Keep up the good work Mary!!
You still have the fantasy that things are going to work out and that you're going to live in this house you've already given up.
Newsflash: This is as good as it gets.
Once you let go of that house psychologically you must make sure you are completely financially divorced from this slacker. For your sake I hope that mortgage is totally his. You must also not expect ANY financial help from him (although he mustn't know this) and budget accordingly. Anything you do get from him should go into a rainy day account, and under NO circumstances do you give even an inch in your demands, even if he doesn't meet them. Document, document, document everything. Make sure he gets copies of all your daughter's bills he is supposed to pay or share so there can be no question legally what is expected of him.
He ain't changing, baby, so you'd better.
I grew up hearing about how horrible Fidel was, how terrible Communism was, what a travesty it was that the Cuban exiles in Miami had lost everything. As I got a little older I began to wonder why these Cuban exiles could all come to the US but the Haitians (the nation next to it with a severely repressive and murderous regime) couldn't. I also wondered why the ethnic mix in Cuba (meaning many people of obvious African descent) was so different from the largely "white" Cubans who left.
Most importantly, it was very difficult (this was very much the pre-internet era) to get an idea of whar Cuba was REALLY like in the pre-Fidel era.
I have traveled to the island twice since 2002, and despite the fact that it is led by the same head of state since 1959 I found the people as a whole very willing to talk openly about what they do and don't like about their country (I speak Spanish, so I wasn't getting an interpreter's whitewash). Many want to leave the island, but most want to take their political system to the next level. Under the Fidel regime, a country where the majority were illiterate and without health care has been lifted to a country where education is free and mandatory to age 16, where literacy is above 95%, and where EVERYONE has basic healthcare. There is also not the segregation against the Afro-Cubans that was rampant before 1959. In short, this is a country where the basic educational and healthcare needs are available to all, where it will be very easy to become more democratized after the leadership changes.
Most Americans really do not understand that many of the shortages of food and medicines in Cuba occur not because of the political system, but because of the US sanctions against trade since the revolution. You see no US brands in the markets, tourist or local. I truly believe that if the US had lifted the embargo early on, Fidel would have been replaced long ago (and not with the fossils in Miami). As it is, any problem the country has is always blamed on US sanctions, and not on Fidel's regime.
You also don't see Fidel's face plastered eveywhere like you do in many other dictatorships. As dictators go, he is one of the more benevolent, meaning overall the total standard of living and quality of life has improved for the MAJORITY of Cubans. The exiles in the initial exodus were the elites who in conjuction with the Mafia controlled what was essentially a plantation system. They didn't give a damn about the common people in Cuba and still don't. Because of their political lobbying in the US Congress over the years sanctions have been maintained through ten US presidents, Democratic as well as Republican, causing hardships for the Cuban people. It is now a stupid dick-wagging contest rather than any kind of political statement.
In all, Cuba is not perfect, and I don't want to live there, but if I had to choose between it and many of the other so-called democratic countries in the Carribbean (where poverty and disease and great disparities between the elites and the masses are scandalous) I'd choose Cuba.
No one, including Cary, as yet seems to have addressed the LW's problem. Instead they are all moralizing about Christian vs Christian-lite, etc.
Tell the family members that while you invited them to the event you did NOT invite them to be your houseguests. You can send or e-mail them information on reasonably priced accomodations nearby, and that is the end of your duty. I also have no idea why you would spend one moment of stress worrying about their wants for the ceremony. Are they footing the bill? If not, there is NO discussion, NONE. Demand some respect and you'll get it. And LW also never mentions the fiance after the first paragraph. Does he have an opinion here?
If the level of communication is as bad as it seems from the letter, heaven help the marriage (if they get to that point).
A very wise friend once told me, "Don't cry over something that can't cry over you."
It was good advice then, and especially is now.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Once seen as a lunatic fringe, reactionary anti-women groups are courting respectability
Salon headlines in your mailbox
