I had no idea. So glad you understand what so-called "creative" jobs can really be like. (I also love the comments from the lawyers and scientists, too.)

Yeah, it could definitely be that some of the more mundane annoyances are getting in the way of seeing the bigger picture right now.

It might be the people that don't get the value of what I provide that I am finding frustrating and that's what I need to work at.

Having to explain once again that I don't just sit around all day going "La La La!" pasting flowers onto cardboard and picking random colours from a Pantone book.

My day can involve stuff like "designing" an ad for a client who provides only a blurry low-resolution black and white photo . . . and hearing them say "Just run it through Photoshop and turn it into colour again!"

. . . . and the ad is the size of a business card and they insist that not one word of their 3000 words of perfect, beautiful text can be edited out . . . oh and it's due in 20 minutes so can you just "pretty it up" . . . oh and we have to use this ugly unreadable all-uppercase font that screams "1972"

. . . and "By the way, I know this is a brochure for a bank, but I would really like my 4-year-old to have a chance to play at it too . . .

. . . and doing hours and hours of research and planning and organizing meetings and focus groups and then getting useless comments from the people who only show up for the free sandwhiches . . .

. . . and "I sure wish I had a fun job like you!" (Grrrrrr . . . )

: )

"Creative " work is not like arts 'n' crafts time at kindergarten. I never expected it to be, but a lot of people have that perception and THAT's the source of the insecurity I am talking about when I refer to "lack of repect."

Most people aren't intentionally nasty, they just don't understand what I do, and I know they sometimes think that just because my work involves words and images that it's not as "smart" as work involving numbers.

It's a lot of fear, sweat and toil to produce something decent and professional in a very short timeline, often with limited resources . . . and if you don't get it done by deadline you're fired.

Most days, I can laugh it off and just proceed to do the best work I can, in the most professional manner. But other days . . . that's when my mind starts wandering down all these other paths.

To those of you who recommended books: I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am going over to Amazon right now to order them in.

I think I explained clearly enough in one of my earlier posts why kids won't be part of my "career renewal plan."

(Back there . . . that part about the "chemo.")

Anyway, I should mention that my letter was edited down slightly for inclusion on the site. Perhaps the essence of what I am trying to ask is how do you know if you are "good enough" to keep working through something, trying to get better at it, or if you should admit that you should walk away.

It's not about needing to be a "star" in graphic design (which is sort of like being a "star" in dentistry, as in it's not really a form of stardom)—it's more that I don't know if I have "what it takes" to try to PROGRESS to better projects. Or have I "risen to the level of my incompetence?"

Some things in design, I am very very good at (document design)—others, I am terrible. (I'll admit it here: my drawing skills are crap!!!!)

Some days, I can pull off some decent, competent stuff, but other days I feel like a fraud. I fear that the ideas will just dry up and stop coming and then what will I do? Perhaps this is why I obsess about a "backup plan."

Thanks again for all the thought-provoking comments. I appreciate them all.

This is a pretty normal thing in a lot of parts of Canada as far as I know. (I'm English/Irish/Scottish background.) Lots of people kiss relatives (briefly) on the lips.

Maybe less now with the younger generations but I never gave it any thought until today.

A kiss IS on the lips. A kiss on the cheek is just a peck.

Thanks one last time for all the advice yesterday—the anonymity has kept the discussion more honest and realistic than it would be with friends and family.

In the grand scheme of things, it's a tiny issue I know, but it meant a great deal to me that you all took time to give it some thought.

I've got a lot of work to do, so I'll be away from here for the next while.

Best wishes to all—you're awesome!

—SVS