I honestly don't know much about divorce. I suspect it is a very different dynamic than ending other kinds of relationships, the less formal kind that we usually have when we are younger and relatively "unattached."

I assume everything changes when there are real, life-altering legal, financial and child-related issues at stake. A lot of stuff that doesn't matter when someone is "just" your boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly matters a lot more in marriage and divorce. And for whatever reason, maybe in divorce women tend to be the initiator for different reasons. I really don't know. It would be interesting to see the actual numbers for different situations.

My comment about this tendency refers mainly to younger/unmarried girls, and this fear might be more common during the "dating" phase of one's life, when people are a lot more susceptible to outside opinions about what is claimed to be "true love" "romance" "goodness" etc. I did see a lot of this going on in my early 20s, young women trying to be "nice" to everyone except themselves, and expecting some kind of "reward" for their noble efforts.

I really hope that it is a "maturity" thing rather than a "gender" thing, and that people get better at getting themselves out of bad situations (and worrying less about what other people think) as they get older.

Have a geat day!

I really understand the anguish of this letter.

I had a disastrous two years as a high school teacher before I decided to pursue my dream of going to art school to become a graphic designer.

I need to point out though, 20 years later, that there really are no "dream careers"—any career in any field is what you make it.

Even the so-called "glamourous" jobs in the arts, theatre, media, etc. have their fair share of real sweatshop stuff, with low pay, long hours, miserable people, unappreciated talents, etc. The end product can look so fun and easy, but that hides a lot of sometimes nasty stuff behind the scenes.

I'm 40 and have been considering changing/upgrading my track once again. I have reached the top level of my pay for what I do, and have noticed that even though I have many other excellent qualifications, I am not taken seriously as a "real" professional—I am "just" the graphic designer, not potential management material.

So, LW, take some time to really think about what you need in your life. It may not be law, and that's perfectly fine. But look at the other options with a clear head as well. Any job, no matter how colourful in appearance, is for the most part something we do to pay the bills.

Don't go down a path that is going to make you miserable, but don't be seduced by the false promise of the "job charming" that doesn't exist.