OK. In case of the remote chance the LW (or someone like her) is actually reading the responses:

The LW is obviously too immature to be having a real relationship with anyone right now. If that's her real writing, I would guess she is closer to 14 than 18. That's not a compliment, LW, it's a big fat hint that you clearly need to get your act together.

LW, you are not "an independent woman" even though you are legally at the age of adulthood. None of this stuff you describe is remotely grown-up. This kind of drama is called "Junior High Crap", not "Relationship."

LW: Cary, and most of the other posters here, have given you good and fair advice. They understand the difficulty of your situation. You will notice that they are willing to discuss all sides of the issue.

I will add this one point to the list: At age 18, your number one task, YOUR TOP PRIORITY, is to start taking steps to secure your financial future. That means YOUR EDUCATION is your most important focus right now. You can't be "an independent woman" unless you have some way of supporting yourself in legitimate employment.

I know that's not "romantic", but neither is a grown woman acting like a baby, having temper tantrums, refusing to take responsibiltiy for her own health, well-being, and future happiness.

LW, you seem like a girl who knows what's what. It's time to open your eyes and take a look at EXACTLY what "independent women" do. They do training and study to improve their employment skills. They earn money and build a life for themselves. They act like adults. They make real choices and are responsible for their own decisions. They treat themselves and others with respect, and they get respect in return.

"Independent women" don't act all babyish and dependent on grown men who still like to pretend to be "bad" teenagers. They don't hang out with people—male or female—who try to drive them apart from their friends and familes.

Now look at what the "NON-independent" women do: the ones who moved in with their "bad" boyfriends; had kids before they were ready; the ones who are with guys who are controlling, abusive, or just not there; the women on welfare, or worse. You are not dumb—you know all these unhappy stories. Does any of this seem "romantic" to you? Is this life something you think is "hot?"

Work things out with your family as best you can, start making real plans for your education, and tell your boyfriend this is how it's going to be. If he is a decent, caring guy, if he's really the guy for you, he will want you to be secure and successful. If not, dump him and find someone better.

And by the way, this "hot" boyfriend of yours: why isn't HE doing any of this stuff for himself anyway? What are his plans for his education, his employment, his future independence? I'm just askin' . . .

PS to certain Salon posters: If the gender roles were reversed here, YES I would tell the guy to dump the girl. No one needs a loser dragging them down, especially at age18.