All you commenters who think that the human quest to describe the ineffable is somehow less worthy than the serious problems of day-to-day survival, I've got news for you:

Poetry, music, art, love, ecstacy . . . that's the ONLY stuff that makes any of the OTHER stuff worthwhile.

It is the very REASON we are all down here on this isolated little rock struggling to make it through another day, as we have been doing for the last gazillion years.

You all remind me of that Monty Python sketch where the old geezers are one-upping each other about how miserable their childhoods were . . . "Well WE had to live in a shoebox in the middle of the motorway . . . and we were THANKFUL" blah blah blah.

Someone wonders what an elusive emotion is called, and other people respond in an attempt to put their finger on it, delighting in the shared knowledge that it is indeed an impossible thing to describe, but intense and real all the same, and possibly contains a seed of insight into bigger questions and answers. That sounds to me like a perfectly worthy topic of discussion.

If I promise to read an article filled with tragedy after this one, will THAT help fix whatever financial/relationship/medical problems that are currently plaguing your lives?

"Look! I'm Worrying! I'm Worrying!" said Lucy to Linus in the old Peanuts cartoon . . .

Ah, what a lovely poetic thing to think about before I start my Monday workday.

I relate deeply to what the LW has written about. There IS a particularly beautiful and poignant moment late in the afternoon and in early evenings, especially during the longer summer days.

Sometimes, when the light is just right, and everything looks a bit richer (the light becomes more golden, different from the harsher bright yellow of the day), I am transported instantly back to the very best moments of childhood. Yes, it is indeed deeply nostalgic, and sometimes it is both bitter and sweet.

It is very, very important to be aware of your emotions. (I know a person who literally cannot pinpoint her own basic feelings of "happy" "sad" "content" "anxious" etc. and I believe she is literally on the verge of having a heart attack—her inner thoughts and her outer real life are that out of control.) Self-awareness doesn't have to mean navel-gazing, it's just knowing what's going on, in your head and in the real world. I think it is an essential life skill.

I take these emotions to be reminders of all that is fleeting and precious about life. Listen to what they are telling you. And try to savour every beautiful moment that comes your way.

I had a friend once who said to me "Never lose that twisty-turny feeling." It was his quirky way of saying to hang on to what inspires you, and all the things that give you joy.

Thank you for reminding me of these things this morning.

Has anyone here ever had one of those friends or acquaintances that seem to have the ability to create emergencies at the precise moment someone else has something really, really big to deal with?

You know, the night before you have a job interview, and they decide to have a relationship meltdown at about 10:00 pm;

or you are on some immovable deadline, and they need to "process" some life-altering decision (like "Should I drop out of grad school?") RIGHT NOW;

or you have to be away on some really, really important thing (visiting beloved dying relative, doing wokr that will determine the whole future of your career, etc.) and they "conveniently" have a mishap (possibly drug- or alcohol-related) that is not serious enough to bring you back home, but *just* serious enough to intrude on your own ability to focus on the task at hand.

. . .

There is something in the LW's letters that smacks of this king of attention-seeking game-playing.

The wife is not on a 5-week vacation by herself, she is away doing work—and I presume it is relatively serious and high-paying work if she is required to be in Europe for 5 weeks to complete the task.

I presume that LW benefits from the income that his wife's career brings in, so, in addition to salvaging this relationship, he might also want to rein in any attempts at intentional or unintentional career sabotage.

That electronic communication is inherently fraught with risk of misinterpretation because you only see the raw text of the message and not the tone of voice or the context of the conversation.

Listen to the difference between

"I don't *miss* him" (As in "Well, I'm not PINING for him.")

and

"I don't miss HIM" (As in "I am so glad HE'S not here!!!)

Can you hear it? Two totally different meanings: one harmless, healthy and normal, the other a big clue that there is a serious problem. Without the asterixes or the bold type there is absolutely no clue about which meaning was intended—I thought everyone knew that this was one of the biggest drawbacks of e-mail. Apparently not.

Those of you telling the guy to immediately go and file for divorce without any further evidence are missing a big part of what's most likely going on here.