Contrary to popular belief, Canada is no stranger to poverty and homelessness. As in any city, Halifax has down-and-out folks who genuinely need a helping hand, and people here do tend to be generous with their spare change, and also with more significant donations. (And Salon readers will probably know that Nova Scotia is not the wealthiest province.)

It's a small-enough place that you can figure out people's situations pretty quickly. Addiction, family violence, mental illness and related problems are less "anonymous" here than in bigger cities, but that doesn't make them any easier to solve.

Unfortunately, every Summer we get a new crowd of Pseudo-Punk high-school and college kids down from Montreal, sponging off the legendary hospitality of Maritimers, basically playing at being homeless for the season, demanding money to finance their beer-drinking, dope-smoking and "travels." Strangely, they and their "needs" disappear exactly one week before school starts up again in the Fall. You can tell they are well-off by their straight, white teeth, clean, clear skin, expensive clothing carefully "distressed" to look punk, the way they speak, etc. Let's just say that rich kids demanding money from people who have LESS doesn't exactly help with that old problem of "compassion fatigue."

SO: I am hazarding a guess that EVERYBODY has their own "Hierarchy" for deciding who gets spare change and/or donations and who doesn't, and even the most generous or wealthy person makes distinctions about who they will and will not give money to. Really, this attitude is essential if one is serious about making sure their limited supply of "gift" money is used in the most beneficial way.

No one can give away everything they have (or they too would be poor and homeless), and even if they did, we all know that many of the people we see panhandling every day have problems that no amount of spare change will fix.

LW, your little boy sounds sweet, empathetic and generous—definitely traits you want to encourage in him. I hope he retains this generous spirit throughout his lifetime.

Right now though, the issue is literally small change. Kids are powerless over most things in the adult world, so maybe this makes him feel as if he is really doing something helpful.

I think you should let him give some away some of "his" money if he wants to—but I would give him a fixed amount that is "his" and let him know that once he spends it it's not magically replaced. He will figure out soon enough that he has a finite amount of money to spend on himself and others, and that giving small amounts of change here and there doesn't make people's problems go away.

When he is ready, maybe you can start explaining about different organizations and charitable projects (maybe something local that he can participate in, or at least see in action) — groups that you know make good use of donations. It might be rewarding for him to know how small amounts of money can be used for big results.

He is too young to understand the complexities of why some people end up panhandling for change, but he is obviously old enough to understand that there are kids and families "out there" who are less fortunate and who will appreciate some extra help, especially at Christmas. Could you maybe help him pick out and wrap up a toy for someone his age who is in need?

I guess my main concern is that he continues to learn that giving is a good thing to do, that it benefits both the giver and the receiver, but that we also have to find ways to channel our giving for maximum "good." Encourage him to be generous, but also teach him to think carefully about how donation money can be used (and misused) so that as he gets older he learns to protect himself from exploitation.

Don't make him feel bad or embarrassed about giving—it shouldn't be a punishment. Help him feel good about it by teaching him that there are different ways to give, some more helpful than others, and that he will ultimately have to find the ways that make the most sense to him.

This struggle does not go away with childhood. Last week on the CBC they had quite an extensive item on the ethics of giving: Is it better to give to individuals or organizations? Is it better to give locally or internationally? Is it better to give to small grassroots organizations or the large influential "names"? It is an issue riddled with complexity, and the more you look into it the more difficult it becomes. We all do the best we can with the informatin we have.

Good luck with this. It sounds like you have a smart and delightful little boy.