is LEAVE THIS ORGANIZATION THAT IS CONTROLLING SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE.

You are not obligated to follow ANY practice of ANY church. You are not obligated to show up there and hand over your money.

Do you understand what I am telling you? You have the freedom to no longer be a mormon if you don't want to be.

Your first plan for this weekend should be: NO CHURCH. Sleep in. Silence all phones. Make coffee. Have breakfast. Read the paper. Putter around the house. Take some time to be alone with your thoughts. Skip church. That's right, don't go. You are FREED from this obligation this week, and for all future weeks of your life if you choose.

Last time I checked, America was still a free country in spite of all it's problems right now. You don't have to go to a particular church, or ANY church, if you don't want to.

That's right: your country (and mine, just north of you) is filled with millions of people who ACTUALLY CHOOSE IF and WHEN they go to church, OR DON'T GO AT ALL, often because they JUST DON"T FEEL LIKE IT! Did you know that was your RIGHT? You don't HAVE to go, and you DON'T EVEN NEED A REASON!

If your "church" is going to bust down your door and physically drag you into a building that you no longer have any association with, then you have bigger problems than being gay.

So, you must make the decision to STOP GOING TO THIS CHURCH.

If your "brothers" harrass you over the phone, change your phone numbers. If they show up at your house, call the police. I'm deadly serious. People who do this are not your friends, they are criminals, and you don't have to be polite to them.

If you absolutely NEED to be in a religious community of some kind, look around and find something that is less racist, less homophobic, less cultish, and less controlling of your day- to-day private life. Yes, this means more open-minded and, yes, more liberal. Go online and find some good information and support for gay people, especially resources for those who have been victimized by churches. (This will not be difficult.)

Mormons always seem to forget they they are by no means a mainstream philosophy in the world. LDS numbers are much smaller than their marketing and geneological materials imply.

Oh, and guess what? Despite what you may have been told, God will not hate you for not being a mormon. And he doesn't hate you for being gay. Maybe you need to be around people who will tell you that more often.

You have a lot of work to do, and a lot of decisions to make. You—AND YOUR FAMILY—need time, privacy, love, NON-MORMON support, and a whole lot of mental and emotional space to work through all the these complicated issues.

You are embarking on a new path in your life. Whatever decisions you make about your family, you have to start making them OUTSIDE of the context of your tiny, closed, artificial mormon community.

Please listen to all the good advice that has been given by so many people who have posted today. There is a whole world out here for you.