Look at it this way: if he did give you a million for some reason, wouldn't you then owe all YOUR cousins (on the other side of the family) a couple thousand each? And then wouldn't they owe all THEIR cousins some of that? And then would one of them eventually owe ME something? And then wouldn't I in turn owe all MY cousins a chunk of what I "won?" Do you see how it goes? Seemingly large amounts get chiseled down to increasingly small amounts though all this "donating"—soon everyone down the line gets such a trivial amount that isn't much good to anyone. Here's your dollar everyone, don't spend it all in one place.

Some people have a lot of money through sheer luck, some people have it through smart decision-making or perseverance, and some people don't seem to "deserve" it at all but they have it anyway. None of this is really my concern. I don't begrudge them for having money. They do spend it on real things, so it does circulate in the economy.

What does interest me is that many people who have earned a lot of money through legitimate work do seem to understand how to manage it well. They don't destroy themselves with a million, but I am sure we all could name an acquaintance who could easily destroy him or herself in a weekend with 500 bucks.

Consider how different people do or don't understand money:

* My friend's 4-year-old thinks 5 dimes is the same as 5 dollars.

* My grandmother can't comprehend anyone having $1000 in the bank, while I panic when it gets that low.

* My friend expressed disbelief when she found out I billed $6000 for a project—she couldn't accept that anyone would pay that, even when I pointed out that she earns more for the same amount of hours. It was the $6000 all at once that seemed like an outrageous amount. (I think she thought I lived on $6000 a YEAR.)

* Lottery winners (and look at the kinds of people who invest disproportionally in the lottery) win a million, and get into trouble because they think they can live as if they had a billion—not true. A million dollars equals earning $50,000 a year for twenty years. Almost a middle-class salary, and nice to get all at once, but you still have to pay taxes on it, and it won't let you live in luxury forever. Lottery winners buy toys that lose all value in a few years, instead of investing in education or business that would really set them up for life.

What I am saying is that people who are used to being around large amounts of money often know EXACTLY what those amounts entail. They may not struggle with money (and survival) the way we do, but they DO know the value of money and how to take care of it. They know how to make money work for them. They do not get rich and stay rich by giving away random amounts to anyone who asks. And when they do give to charities, you can bet they monitor its use. They know how dangerous it can be to give large amounts of money to people who don't know how to work with it properly.

Someone earlier mentioned the book "Your Money or Your Life." The approach is a LOT of work at first, but it is based on tracking your personal priorities, and is really worth doing. The book won't tell you how to get rich, but it it will show how to take care of the money that you do have. Even if you don't want to do their "program" it is worth reading for the insight about how many "life hours" we all give up in pursuit of money.

So, LW, I am not going to wish that you win the lottery, but I do wish you the best in turning around your personal fortunes.