Wow-how brave of a 17-year old to write such a letter. It really is a confusing age. A lot of us here probably shudder when we look back. Count me in with the (formerly) young and (still) clueless!

LW, I hope that you can find someone really good to help you out. Is there a good guidance counsellor at your school? Or a teacher that you can talk seriously with? Do you know any other adults who seem to "get it?" If so, they might be able to give you good advice. Other people here have mentioned getting your hearing and vision checked, or getting an assessment for something that may need more attention.

I know it isn't much consolation right now, but I hope that you can believe all those people who say that things really do get better. Once we leave the teen years, we have more freedom to grow into ourselves. Often, we grow so quickly that we outpace our friends—in a few years, you may be hitting your stride and and they will be the ones left behind going "Huh? What?" I wonder if maybe you are outgrowing some of your friends already.

It is okay to be quiet, thoughtful, to not want to blab constantly like so many people do. It is also okay not to like silly chit-chat, noisy groups or trivial smart-ass comments. It's very natural to tune it out because too much of it can drive you crazy. I suspect that after high school, you will be freer to move on to situations where you can spend time with people more like yourself.

Please keep trying to find a good, smart, reliable adult who you can trust with your thoughts, and who takes your concerns seriously.

All the best to you.

It is interesting that the LW introduced her letter with comments about a certain book before getting into her real issue.

Well, LW, an interesting thing about books is that a certain amount of FREEDOM is inherent in the reading act itself. You read what interests you, at your own pace, on your own time, in any order you choose, as many times as you like. You can skim. Or you skip one book entirely in favour of something else.

With practice, readers learn how to read critically—we evaluate the worth of what we read when we have other things to compare to. And, we don't have to accept every single thing an author says, but we may still glean small but precious pieces of wisdom from the most unlikely sources.

So you have been recommended a book that has some ideas that are new to you. Some of these ideas might seem radical, or connected with highly charged views that you don't subscribe to—you pointed out the use of the word "womyn." You wonder if this book applies to your situation, and you wonder if what the author says has any basis in fact. These are good questions, that practiced readers tend to keep in mind whenever they read anything. "Consider the source" applies to good and bad writing.

So, read the book. Read it with an open mind, and read it with a healthy amount of questioning and skepticism. Reject anything that you believe is untrue. Take notes or write in the margins if you like. Then read another book on the subject, maybe something with more citations to back up the points, and see what that author says. Maybe there are both supporting and conflicting points of view on your topic. Maybe new research has made older books out-of-date. Maybe some authors are more informed on this subject than others, and maybe some have a writing style or language that makes more sense to you.

Don't believe everything you read. But keep reading, comparing, and thinking.

Maybe you will want to do some research about the authors you find. Who are they? How did they develop their point of view? How are they perceived by others in there field? Ask around if other people have read these or similar books. What did they think of them? Read the book reviews on Amazon, you get a whole range of opinions.

Do you see where the idea of FREEDOM comes in? It's YOUR book. YOU make the decisions about it. Reading is freedom of thought.

Do you also see how the metaphors of the book apply to the other part of your "assignment"? That is, at some point, YOU will have to make some decisions about YOUR situation. ARE you in an abusive relationship? ARE you in danger if you try to leave? These are questions your therapist should help you resolve, and quickly. But only you know, in your heart, the real answers. Only YOU know what you must do.

And, just like we evaluate books, we must also evaluate those who give us advice. Is your therapist sensible and well-balanced herself? Does she have any kind of "agenda" that doesn't seem to match your values? Can you trust this person to give good, practical advice that will assist you in building a good life?

Your letter describes a situation that sets off alarm bells for many of us who post here. In fact, reading it gives me a terrible uneasy feeling in my gut—and I don't even know you! (Another example of the power of reading!) Your marriage doesn't sound like a healthy relationship between two equals. To be honest, from what you have written, your husband sounds like a classic bully. No one should make any other person else feel small, afraid, diminished. I would certainly never let a child be alone with someone like that. So I will be frank and admit that I am leaning strongly towards the "DTMFA" side of the meter today.

I hope, in reading all these replies, that you find the courage you need to act in a way that lets you reclaim your life.

Best wishes to you.