It seems to me that the person who wrote earlier about the power of delayed grief has raised an important point. I think anyone who has struggled so much with the day-to-day stuff, and suddenly has things "settled" might naturally feel overwhelmed like this. It seems that there could be years of emotions "set aside" which come bubbling to the surface demanding to be sorted and dealt with.

I hope that you can find a good counsellor or psychologist who can help you sort through all this. One who agrees that is is OK to feel these things (and feel them strongly), that grief, sadness and regret are all part of a normal life, and who can also help you work through this so that you can start moving forward again.

If you have a good doctor, I hope you can also look seriously at the hormonal issues too. It is highly likely that they could be magnifying all these emotions so much that you aren't physically able to step outside of them, to see them for what they are. The effects of hormones on emotion are well-known, they are no different than any other kind of "drug" in that small amounts can have extreme and intense effects.

Physical and emotional health support each other. Small, incremental steps can start to add up to big changes.

Is there any small thing you can change in your physical environment right away, today, to give this process a tangible "starting point?" Any old junk (broken lamps, rickety chairs) you can throw out, sell or give away, paper or photos you can shred, books you can sell, stuff stashed in drawers or basement boxes, knicknacks that remind you of sad times or places that you need to let go of? Is there anything "small" or "insignificant" that you are now brave enough to free yourself from? Maybe you could set some criteria: Beautiful, Useful, Personally Meaningful . . . and also . . . Keep, Sell, Give Away, Decide Later . . . whatever works for you. On your own timeline, whenever you are ready.

The reason I propose this is that is can grow into a bit of a busy-work project, and can give you a sense of control over some of those things that can trigger specific emotions and memories. Little by little, you start to carve out mini oases of serenity for yourself, tiny, personal refuges from chaos. It can give you something satisfying to do while waiting for other things to get going. (Like if it will take a few weeks to get an appointment with the person you want to see.) Don't try to do everything all at once, that's too much. Just one cluttered drawer, one picture, one old letter, one file folder, one worn-out thing at a time. Slowly, thoughtfully, joyfully—or with tears if that helps too.

From your letter, it sounds like you have many life accomplishments to be proud of: a lovely daughter, good friends, a stable job, and some fun in your life. With some support, I hope that you will be able to work through your grief and find happiness in your life once again.

Best wishes to you on your journey.

I know this is getting a bit off-topic from the serious subject of the original letter . . . but in answer to your question I do believe there has been some serious scientific research into the role hormone levels play in our emotional response to music.

I can't put my finger on the source right now, but I do recall reading several years ago the when certain hormones are at elevated levels we respond very strongly to music. So much so, that any and all music we are exposed to during such times gets imprinted in our memory as our favourite music. This is one possible explanation as to why we respond to music so strongly during adolescence and during times when we are in love, and why certain songs from our youth remain on our personal life soundtrack decades later.

Speaking about the female cycle, there are definite times of the month when I am in love with any and all forms of music (I crave it as much as I crave certain foods) and other times when nothing resonates, not even those old nostalgic favorites.

Really, none of us should underestimate the role hormones play in our lives—they shape our minds and thus our lives in strange and mysterious ways.